How are your 40s?

How are your 40s?

I just turned 41 the other week. I did not hit my 40s gracefully. It's been hard not to look at it as a milestone where I've looked at where all my peers are and counted my own disappointments. Which is a massive trap, I know, but the reminders of other people's accomplishments are everywhere.

It's strange to think that your "40s" have to be any ONE thing. I guess society and the education system and pop culture and f'n Facebook sort of inadvertently conspire to strongly suggest that a person in their 40s should be a certain thing. Be at a certain stage, have certain things. When I turned 40, I had a drink at a local dive bar and this bartender -- who I'd known for a little while -- was genuinely shocked when I told her that I'd just turned 40 since she'd assumed I was much younger. Her next question was immediately, "Do you have kids?"

I didn't. (I don't.) But that was her natural question because people in their 40s have kids, right? Most of my friends certainly do.

Anyway, how did it feel turning 40 for you? Was it easy? Was it difficult? Did it change anything for you?