I was 15 when I figured out I was gay, which was brought on by my first crush the previous year. I didn't know that anything beside heterosexuality existed until I was 13. Now, looking back, I can identify that I had crushes on other boys as far back as 10, and maybe earlier.
I know this is way late, but feel I really have to say this.
I understand what you're getting at with this quote, but I have a huge problem with the last line, the "Feminists did not do this to you, other men did."
Because it was a feminist woman who sexually assaulted me, and who convinced me (and i'm sure she had convinced herself) that what she was doing was a feminist act. Only things that were missing were my interest and consent.
But it was portrayed as a feminist act, and I was convinced for almost 30 years that that terrible experience was my fault, and my anger about it was some sort of misogyny I was unable to rid myself of. Because sexual violence is a tool of the patriarchy, and as a man I am responsible for the patriarchy, while feminism fights the patriarchy, so therefore is anti-sexual violence. That is the only way it works, feminists have told me forever.
It's funny how the words of both the patriarchy and feminists worked together for 3 decades to convince me that my injuries didn't exist.
But recently, thanks to the efforts of lots of trans people, and people who are not on the gender binary, there's a lot more feminist writing about sexual violence that doesn't gender the victims or the perpetrators. And about 3 years, two articles like that in a row hit me like a wall of bricks, and I figured it out, and I've been healing since.
But for almost 30 years I beat myself up because I too was convinced that a woman who called herself a feminist couldn't be a sexual predator, and it was other feminists, not other men, that reinforced that idea.
I would be so surprised if she got any jail time for this, but really, that was such a crappy thing to do.
I smiled at a stranger today.
Hi Logan! Welcome!
I think that's the point of the illustrations, that women's sexuality was not being viewed in a realistic manner. Just like the women in the illustrations were not realistic.
Hi I'm conic. I'm your garden variety midwestern American middle-aged gay white guy in a long term monogamous relationship. I don't believe in binaries, but they do describe me well. We used to have cats, they all got old and died, now we have dogs, they're old but still with us. I do technical / designy things, nothing exciting. I like to cook, gardening, knitting/crocheting, photography.
I'm looking forward to hearing what the rest of you have to say. And I'm hoping that you can see me, and not just the cardboard cutout of a middle-aged gay white dude.



QueeriesWhen did you know you were queer?Mar 11 at 6:04 PM

