I think the X is nothing but a band-aid, so to say. It's good for now, but we should move towards not having gender markers on anything.
You see, having a gender in IDs or passports or other documents implies your gender has to do with your appearance and/or body parts. It's not supposed to be a personal thing such as a name or number, it's supposed to identify you as much as your eye color or height.
It's a huge thing to have more gender and sex variance officially recognized, but this shouldn't be regarded as the end-all of things. (I know nobody here has said that, but assimilationist politics are a thing.)
If you are referring to the ace spectrum, being asexual doesn't mean you are not into sex.
I've been bullied a lot in my teens for not feeling sexual attraction. People in my class pressured me into saying which boy I found hot, and since I found no one hot, people assumed I was a closeted lesbian, even if I said I found no girl hot either.
Being asexual has shaped my experiences more than being bi, so why should the fact that I have relationships with more than one gender be more relevant for other people than the fact I'm ace?
This smells like "you don't need labels because everyone is just human rhetoric", but directed specifically at ace people. Yikes.
I'm biromantic, aroflux, and demisexual. It's hard for me to choose between "asexual" and "bisexual", since both fit my experiences but not quite, so I chose "other".
As for nonbinary people, you could just have added masexual, womasexual & ceterosexual. Queer would also have been a good option, but if you didn't want people to pick a nonspecific option, there are those.
I kind of agree.
Sadly, I keep seeing two kinds of groups:
Groups where deeper discussions happen, but uncommon labels are either frowned upon or ignored;
Groups where everyone is accepted, but most content is just about what labels mean and that people with these labels are valid and about spreading pride flags for these new identities.
I think having glossaries is really important, because then you can 1) find a definition on your own instead of waiting on an answer and 2) easily learn about all sorts of identities, which is useful for questioning and educational purposes.
However, definitions + shallow positivity + pride flags and other graphics shouldn't be the end-all of communities. (Sure, there are blogs/pages just for that and that's okay, I'm talking about interactions here.)
I want to read about the experiences of people who specifically identify as, for example, polygender, agender, or maverique, rather than just nonbinary. I want to see pages dedicated to nonbinary fashion. I want to know more about nonbinary people's experiences in real life LGBTQIAP+ groups. I want to read about people who are openly of genders related to masculinity/maleness/femininity/femaleness' experiences with exorsexism. I want to know how xenogender people figured out their genders.
I want to be able to read about the experiences of abro, neu, and cetero people. I want to know about how finsexual, ninsexual, and minsexual people deal with being attracted to people who don't identify themselves as being feminine, neutral/androgynous, or masculine, respectively. I want aplatonic people to talk about the stigma they face both in and out of the aro community.
However, I think it's pretty hard to have lots of people talking about that, if they have to face hate from all sides when they defend being something more complicated than what most people are used to. I think that maybe it's easier for most people to understand their own identities, and then decide on easier labels so they don't get mocked, or convince themselves that was only a "teen phase". I bet most people who talked more openly about this would get more confusion/hate than admiration/love, and that discourages people a lot.
Aww, that's sad. I mean, it's not like it's even a difficult concept to understand, but people love to push that if your label contains "man/boy/masculine" or "woman/girl/feminine", you are basically that binary gender, or a GNC person of that binary gender, and just ~want to be special~.
Since most people in our society are used to the gender binary, a lot of nonbinary people define their genders as close to or related to a binary gender. Because of this, identities such as magiboy, demigirl, juxera, offboy, librafeminine, nonbinary boy, transfeminine, periboy, nanogirl and nonvir are quite common.
What people need to understand is that those labels are good for people who don't feel right with certain dichotomies, even if these are "boy or nonbinary" instead of "boy or girl". And that it's okay if these labels aren't useful or don't feel right for certain people who identify as one of those categories.
I think people have the right to not be described as queer - just like someone may not like to have words such as gay, lesbian, or transexual applied to them - because not only there are many ways to describe LGBTQIAP+ identities and people have preferences, but because some of these may be rejected because of the negativity associated with certain words.
However, I see way less instances of people being called queer without consent - usually by people who are still uneducated about LGBTQIAP+ issues - than I see instances of people saying queer should be always be censored, of people saying you shouldn't need to identify as a slur because there are "better words", of people saying the Q should be dropped from the acronym because "it's a slur", or of people saying "queer community" is offensive, even if these people are being clear about only referring to queer community as in the community of people who reclaim queer. Therefore, I'm not surprised that queer-identified people sometimes are a bit too aggressive about the word queer being good and valid, to the point it may offend people who don't want to be called queer at all.
I actually think it's a shame we can't use queer as an umbrella term, since it's a better descriptor than LGBTQIAP+ or MOGAI, imho; but I understand it may not be as inclusive as something that isn't offensive to a large part of the non-pericishet community.
I like this a lot!
As another nonbinary person, I really, really hate when I decide to tell my experiences to justify my gender, and people tell me "but you wore dresses before!", or "but a lot of women would like to have a penis too!", or "but other women also feel a disconnect between them and other women!". It's so humiliating I've decided to stop trying to justify my gender. You don't believe it without the ~right story~? Well, fuck off, you are a bigot undeserving of my effort.
And yeah, most nonbinary people just say their label just feels right for them, as just dysphoria often doesn't cover what gender you identify as. Meanwhile, binary trans people often rely on dysphoria or gender conforming experiences alone, because society already believes their genders exist, even if a large part of it doesn't acknowledge trans people are their gender.
And cis people usually refer to their bodies and socialization as the default for their gender, and create complex narratives to gatekeep who is ~really~ of some gender, which don't even fit all cis people of said gender.
I could also ramble more about dysphoric experiences, but meh.
News like this make me pretty sad. How will society ever evolve if so many parents hate people who aren't forcing children to conform to a pericisheteronormative narrative?
Ahh I also see them all as nonbinary! I'm usually afraid to say that, though, since people tend to act like this is inherently erasing the headcanons of others who find it more important to have binary LGBT+ headcanons.
http://orientando.org/elx-1/ pages 8/9! Page 4 also has some tips.
While I'm always disappointed with the lack of gender neutrality in Portuguese, I'm more bothered by the implications of most people's complains about "presidenta". I mean, "you are making up new words to fit your gender/to not erase your gender" is a common complaint against nonbinary people, and I don't doubt most people criticizing Dilma's use of presidenta would also criticize the need to not call people men/women without permission, the need for neopronouns, the need for new nonbinary identities, the need for words such as enbyfriend, and so on.
I'm from Brazil too! I don't like it here, but it's not like the rest of the world is better off.
OP and @Eloony: What pronouns do you use in Portuguese, and where do you live? I'm currently living in São Paulo, and my pronouns are eld & elx :)
I made this a while ago, when I had to take an 8s photo at night. This is from my balcony. (Probably doesn't count because it wasn't specifically made for this thread, but ehhh)
It seems you are under the impression it's an Imzy community...?
I specifically said forum to not give that impression. It's on another site, so there's fewer chance of people stumbling upon the community when looking for their interests.
Imzy is a cool platform, but I find forums more organized for more in-depth discussions, and when advertising the community, I think more people avoid joining social media sites just for a community than a forum that's already embed on another site. ^^'
That was an old post, and there are 3 photos, so I didn't bother posting the images directly.
That said, I didn't know about that, so thanks :D
1/2/4. Yeah, got it!
- Well, these are already a few people that have already joined. I'm just worried of either not being able to expand because people aren't encouraged to post, and I don't want to scare them off by insisting too much on their participation.
5/6. I have thought about that, I'm just not sure if people will be put off because of the lack of people participating. I've made quite a few threads, but I'm not sure if people just have no opinions about it or don't feel like participating when nobody else is posting.
Anyways, thanks for your input!
Oh yeah, after that comment, I've specified on the rules that there's no problem slipping up sometimes or not using gender neutral terms all of the time (regarding stuff like saying "actors" instead of "actors, actresses and nonbinary people who act and stuff like that, blatant cissexism should be addressed). Forgot to say that.
Anyways, nice suggestions!
hmmm... I have these
I think it's nice. Imzy has this whole friendly aesthetic going on, and green is a "calm" color.
Besides, blue is overused (Facebook, Tumblr, Twitter, LinkedIn, LJ, etc.) red is there on most things that don't have blue (Buzzfeed, Pinterest, Yelp, Dreamwidth, etc.), and yellow (maybe orange, idk) is bad for people with sensory issues.
I think green fits Imzy more than purple, orange or red, honestly.
I believe that it's pretty hard to change that if there is no effort to include other people. For example, say a lesbian goes to a LGBT group, where there are 5 cis gay men. The gay men may say misogynistic comments, and even cissexist comments, that make her uncomfortable. This lesbian will seek out comfort elsewhere, and there will be no women to support the next LGBT+ woman who comes, and the cycle continues.
I guess there is a need for an educational effort at those centers. I know people are not there to learn stuff, but there won't be a true safe space for all kinds of people if no one cares about the majority being misogynistic/racist/ableist/cissexist/etc.
Thanks for your interest!
The thing is, I don't want a single discussion, but rather a community where people can post a lot of things about negativity and put a focus on social justice issues without detracting from a general community, where not all people may want that. Not all nonbinary people are activists, and a safe space for nonbinary people shouldn't be full of negativity-centered discussions.
Idk if that's possible for you, but even if you don't have friends, you can go to communities on Discord/online forums/etc and offer invites. (Of course, I just recommend this if you aren't being spammy and talk about other things there too.)
Tbh, I know that 1) some nonbinary people just disagree with exorsexism being a thing, and I don't want to start fights, and 2) this community is quite basic, I don't really want to expose people who are just learning about their identity to complex discourse and negativity.
Like, I'd feel a bit uncomfortable with talking a lot about negative experiences on a community that's for general discussions, and I also wouldn't want to attract negative attention from people who would call me a transphobe/transtrender for sharing my negative experiences with binary trans people, not just cis people.
Uh, hey, the message is cool and all; children generally can understand/accept different kinds of orientations and genders better than older people.
But really, I don't recommend posting stuff from fckh8. They are pretty nasty. If you want to know more about that, you may see these: (1) (2) (3)
I basically explain I don't find people of any gender hot. Like... most people that ask me are straight, so I use as an example their lack of attraction to people of the same gender as them.











