A place for people to share, talk, and gawk at advice columns.
I'm in a dominant/submissive relationship -- can I wear a collar to work? - Ask a Manager
A reader writes: My fiancé and I are involved in a 24/7 dominant/submissive relationship. Along with the traditional wedding, we are planning a collaring ceremony. This is really important to both of us, and we take it very seriously - we think of the collar as akin to a wedding ring, representing our mutual trust, support, devotion, and love for each other within this lifestyle.
I'm in a dominant/submissive relationship -- can I wear a collar to work? - Ask a Manager
Ok, I know I've been posting Ally a lot from this blog. But this was too good to ignore.
A reader writes:
My fiancé and I are involved in a 24/7 dominant/submissive relationship. Along with the traditional wedding, we are planning a collaring ceremony. This is really important to both of us, and we take it very seriously — we think of the collar as akin to a wedding ring, representing our mutual trust, support, devotion, and love for each other within this lifestyle. Ideally, once the collar is placed on, we want it to be taken off as little as possible.
So, where is the line as far as office or work fashion goes? For context, I work in a very liberal environment but do have interactions with students, clients, and patients in hospital environments at times. I don’t want to make people uncomfortable (don’t worry, I won’t be demanding anyone call my partner “master”) but I also would like to ideally keep this very important personal symbol.
I’m not sure how eye-raising or recognizable these symbols are outside of the lifestyle. I’m assuming that a traditional leather collar would be too out there, yes? Is something like a locking eternity collar (think thick metal necklace that screws together instead of a clasp) still too risqué? Should I wear a turtleneck or scarf every day? Do I risk jeopardizing my career if we do this, or don’t switch over to something like a normal necklace or anklet? Will everyone just look at it as some sort of hyper-sexualized advertisement, even though it symbolizes so much more?




Allison's response, as always, is polite, straightforward, and reasonable. I am so looking forward to the comments though.
My opinion rolls along with Allison's. I just enjoy watching people fight over the definition of vanilla.
I love how people are now discussing differing levels of kink literacy.
Posting Ally is always a good thing, imo.