Anonymous Conversations and Confessions and Polls
Do I stay with my girlfriend or go with her?
Okay. This is a long story, so please hear me out. There's a lot of details and problems that make this problem huge and I sincerely cannot decide.
My ex girlfriend is a very depressed person. She has problems with her thryoid and weight and those arent getting much better so, subsequently, neither is her mental state. When we dated and even for years before I had been her guardian angel. I always made her feel better and could always pull a smile out of her. A year ago, I went through a really hard time in my own life and the weight of her problems were too much on top of my own and we broke up. Shortly after I found another girl who made me really happy, and this is my girlfriend today.
The problem was this was the fact that my ex was never a social person, and after I dated this new girl I left her with nobody there for her. Nobody at our school seems to care about her and her parents never did to begin with. When I left her, I took away one of her only lines of support in life. I won't go into crazy detail but her depression had gotten way worse. So we started talking again. One thing led to another and we're now talking daily and falling back into old habits. With these habits followed romantic actions, and this was the first time in my life I had ever even thought to consider myself a cheater. After talking to her constantly in the latter half of my current relationship, I realized that I still really love her. I noticed that when we talked she got so happy as I've become one of the only people who knows her well enough to get through to her. Needless to say this resulted in a growth of feelings in both directions and I realized how much of a mistake it was to break up with her in the first place.
Her and my current girlfriend hate each other to no end, ive tried to remind each of them that the other is still a person with human feelings. Blind hate isn't worth it because they both have problems and both love me.
That didn't work, and now tensions are higher than they've ever been. It's going to be now or never that I decide where I decide to go with the rest of my life.
Do I stay with my current girlfriend, because I have a lot to lose in this relationship? Do I go with her because she needs me? Is it selfish of me to have talked to my ex in the first place, selfish to assume I'm the only one that couldve helped her?
Is it selfish to keep my ex in love with me while she tortures by the fact that I'm in another relationship My current girlfriend knows I talk to her, but not about our feelings, is it selfish that she has to sit here and watch me text someone that I secretly love?
I'm all out of options. Maybe I'm jaded to the obviously moral answer, and I'm hoping this community will give their two cents.




Since you are already cheating on your current girlfriend, it's probably best to break up with her. You are wasting her time and your own time by trying to stay in a relationship while you are also trying to be around the person you say you "secretly love."
As far as if you should go back with your ex - I am not so sure that is a good idea. It seems like she could benefit from time to focus on her health and confidence and make friends of her own so she is not 100% dependent on you for social connection.
Relationships are hard things, and all of us are going to have opinions that differ ;)
With that being said, it is hard letting go of someone you care about. I cannot imagine what you or your ex-girlfriend are going through and I don't imagine that I ever will, so I realize that what I'm about to say may or may not resonate with you.
You need to be honest with yourself. And both of these girls in your life. It sounds like you care about both very much, and as you recognize you're in a very hard situation. No matter which way it goes, someone is going to get hurt (and you are going to hurt too). It's an unavoidable consequence of human relationships. Which girl you "choose" however, is up to you.
It may be healthy to consider getting another individual involved in your ex-girlfriends life. It is a hard emotional burden to be the sole life-line of an individual- that is a lot of pressure on yourself and your relationships with other people. I applaud your tender heart in trying to remain friends with her after breaking up, but it can also lead to a cycle that will repeat itself over and over. I am sure you will be going through hard times in the future, as is the nature of life, and if you do not have a partner who can support you as you support them, it will be a very dark time for the both of you.
Best wishes to all of you, and I hope you all find some peace in all this.