Sometimes, things do change.

I'm pretty sure it was John Oliver that said, "every family has a black sheep. if you don't think yours does, it's you."

Baaaa baaaa. I am the black sheep.

Why? Lots of reasons, throwing politics aside to call bullshit is one, being an "illegitimate" child is another. Now it's mostly because I've been to North Dakota once in the last 15 years. I'm not sure the entire family understands, but no one wants to deal with a person that clearly resents having had you. It's been especially hurtful because, like, nothing seemed to change after Jenny (my sister and planned child) was lost in an accident.

The onus has been on him to pull me back into the family but as a show of good faith I arrived at the Christmas gathering after Grandma died a couple years ago. I'm not sure how long he hasn't had the courage to face me, but he's taken some baby steps since and came to Minneapolis this weekend. The short visit was pleasant (and the start of my hangover in the last post) and it seems that me allowing him to help me out financially brought down a barrier.

At first, I thought I was feeling guilty for accepting help. I operate as though no one would help me under the most dire of circumstances and don't like asking for even the smallest of favors.

Now, it's like I'm happy, or some shit, that my dad actually took this step, offered me support in a time of need, and created the possibility of meaningful communication.