My journey and a question

I have a feeling that there are many like me.

I am in my 40s now, but when I was a teenager, from about age 15 - 18 I really enjoyed smoking week. I smokes a lot. Then, I got into some trouble and quit.

Since then, every time (once every few years) I revisit and smoke a bit, I get super paranoid and just don't enjoy myself, at all. I have also developed a pretty healthy anxiety disorder over the past 10 years or so (am medicated for it, still struggle).

I have wondered if there's some magical cannabis that I could use to help me with my anxiety because this is one of the reasons I so often hear about why people use it. But it seems so counterintuitive to me given that I pretty much freak the hell out when I smoke.

Any advice? Guidance?