Musings of Dan McComas, Founder and CEO here at Imzy!
It's all or nothing
I struggle in just about all aspects of life with all-or-nothing thinking. I'm not going to go into how this affects work or relationship stuff or any of the other ways it affects me (alcohol, etc). But one of the biggest ways it affects me is with my diet and my weight. Here's my general struggle:
If I am dieting, it has to be a full on diet. For the last 15 months I have been on the /keto diet. Well, I have been on it for the most part. It is a very extreme diet, you eat less than 20 grams of carbs a day, which is hard. It puts your body into a state of ketosis which causes your body to burn fat for energy rather than glucose which is what all of the carbs are. It works really well, I lost 50 - 70 pounds. But it was so extreme that I would need to take breaks (usually when I went on vacation), and when I would take breaks I would basically go fucking crazy, eating everything I possibly could ... not healthy. Also, when I was on the diet, there are times where you can eat too much of something not knowing it is going to kick you out of ketosis and then it takes another 3 days or so to get back into ketosis.
The problem with being kicked out of ketosis for me wasn't that I wasn't losing weight, it was that it has some pretty severe physical and mental effects. This last weekend I went to a steakhouse on Friday night and ate a huge steak (eating too much protein can kick you out of ketosis). I awoke on Saturday morning with a crushing headache and spent the entire day in bed from this headache. Couple this with the near psychosis I go into while going back into ketosis and I am pretty much non functional.
As I laid in bed, having panic attacks, with a crushing head ache, I just kept thinking about how all of this is due to my all-or-nothing behavior. Why can't I just eat reasonably and exercise reasonably? This is a thing that people do right? Why can't I do it? Can I? I feel like I have to, I'm 42 years old after all. I can't keep doing this diet, it is putting my brain in a bad place which means I'm not doing enough for my business.
So, I hereby commit myself to living a life of moderation. That sounds fucking boring, but I have to learn how to do it.
Does anyone have any tips for how to do this? I could really use some help.




My wife is an RN and told me an interesting story yesterday. She asked me: "Do you recall seeing photos of people in the 50s and 60s?" I nodded yes. She continued: "Remember how most of those people, if not all, were fit?" I said: "Sure."
She went on to tell me that the average person, during the 50s and 60s, ingested approximately 2 tablespoons worth of refined sugar per week. Now, she continued, the average person ingests approximately 5 tablespoons worth of refined sugar per week.
I, also, can imagine that people got more exercise back then as well.
When I started to change my lifestyle, the first thing I did was to eliminate 1 sugary thing from my diet every 2 weeks or so. This took me about 2 years to accomplish. Once I got it down to treating myself with 1 sugary thing (like one 12-ounce soda or one small serving of ice cream) per week I switched gears and moved on to the following.
I then started to replace processed food items with healthy items over a long period of time. I believe this one took me about 8 years.
All the while, over this 10 year period, I would take brisk walks 2-3 times per week. Each walk would last 20-30 minutes.
I took my time over a ten year period and went from being completely out of shape, sickly, and weighing almost 300 lbs. to fit, feeling great, and 170 lbs.
My wife did almost a mirror image of what I did. Three other friends did very similar things alongside of us. We all succeeded.
Crash dieting does not work and is extremely bad for your heart as well as other organs.
Take your time and change your lifestyle.
Thanks for this :)
You are very welcome sir :P
Your post intrigued me because I am quite the polar opposite. I am very much not an all-or-nothing person (which has also affected my work and relationships). However, my diet is the only thing that I have stuck to 100% for any long amount of time (9 years) so I can related on that front.
One of the ways that I keep things in check is by frequently evaluating my day to day routine vs. my long term goals (mental list, nothing fancy.) So, whatever option that will serve me well long term (or at least, not hurt me), while also not cause me to be miserable in the now, tends to be the choice I take. Generally, that ends up being a moderate option. I have also come to accept that many of my long-term goals are just not going to be reached (for various difficult to control reasons, like health, family situation, etc), and accepting that has helped me be more chill about decisions I make.
When it comes to eatting and exercising I have to say I'm proud of my moderation here. Its only everywhere else in life that I can't deal with moderation. I either want it all or none of it.
Needless I struggle with moderation in life as well. Normally followed by the excuse that I just don't settle like everyone else.
Maybe this will help you... I tell people this all the time and they think I'm crazy but... One reason I have such good moderation around food is I don't have a schedule when it comes to eatting.
I only eat when I need too. This means some days I have lunch at 10AM, and other 2PM... somedays I have dinner, others I don't. I just eat whenever I need to, and the go back to whatever I was doing before.
I've found that people with a schedule will eat even when they don't need too or even worse. Will eat even though they aren't hungry just because they think they will be hungry later... Found that most days I don't workout I don't feel a need for food.
If I go outside, and get exercise I tend to want more food.
This is weird, and honestly most people think I'm a little crazy, but maybe its worth a try. Never know what might work for you.
The way I try to be moderate is by being extreme about data. I track things on lists which helps me a lot. So I decide what is sustainable and then use lists to keep it extreme. :) I have to love my list organizing tool in order to use it.
I just don't have that personality. I don't write down anything!
It helps me if I classify certain things as "not optional". Your brain might be over thinking things and it helps to make the world a little more black and white.
What a challenge it can be when the very things that help make us exceptional can also be our downfall. There might be ways to channel that all-or-nothing drive and make it work for you in this realm. I have a few suggestions, from one "old hand" to another.
Blah. Blah. Blah. Mostly, stop looking for shortcuts and LIVE.
❤️ -- Nicki
That was my biggest issue with Keto. I started in February, and I'm down 70lbs, which is great, but long road trip -- knocked me out because all I could really eat on the road was cheese sticks and hard boiled eggs and bunless hamburgers. Got sick, knocked me out because medicine. And that three day back in period is miserable. And my sodium intake was ridiculously high,
I've gone to a lower-carb diet, which keeps me full, still below my calorie limit, and I'm still losing weight at a reasonable pace, and I don't feel miserable or like I failed if I decide to eat a few fries or part of a non-super-dark chocolate bar one day.
I still keep track of what I eat. I'm still using My Fitness Pal to keep a running total. And cutting out soda from my life back in February was probably one of the biggest things that has helped me lose weight and feel better about my health overall.
As for moderation in general? I suck at it. So I'm probably not the best person to ask. Do what works for you. Decide what will work with your life as it is, and go for it.
What do you generally keep your carbs at? Also, where do you recommend I find my caloric limit?
There are lots of places online that will give you an estimate of your caloric limit. I guess I would trust the Mayo Clinic calculator. But I honestly think that the current BMI is bullshit. I know I'm overweight. I'm not sure I'm obese. I think talking to a dietician about what works for you is the best plan. But first catch a good dietician...
I'm more concerned about the overall aspect of your headspace. You can't say to yourself "other people do it, why can't I?" and beat yourself up about it. That leads to emotional and physical bingeing, guilt, panic attacks, and eventually failure. Try to compartmentalize some of the issues, maybe, and above all give yourself a break! Be the best Dan you can be, even if that Dan's not perfect.
Can you tell I had therapy this morning? Blech!
I'm keeping mine between 50 and 100, but I don't freak out if I go over. Mostly I just realized that when I eat carbs I don't feel full, so it doesn't make a whole lot of sense to eat them unless I'm giving myself a treat for some reason. And fats and proteins will fill you up much better than carbs will, in general.
For calories, I initially used the one at the ketodietapp to figure out caloric intake. It doesn't quite exactly match the one on the myfitnesspal app for calories. (For me, to lose two pounds a week, it says 1302 at ketodietapp, and 1320 on myfitnesspal.) It could be a difference in how they're calculating my laziness. IDK.
Maybe read this: The Diet That Has No Name
Keto and any low carb does fantastic things for my blood sugar (I'm type 2 diabetic) but also makes me want to curl up in a corner and die, so that's not really a good thing. I agree regarding moderation and -- exactly like you said -- I just need to figure out how to do it. I'm a bit older than you and so the feeling of "why don't I get this? how do I adult?" is really strong, but... still needs to be done. I wish I had some tips!
I've often thought that I would do good studying Epicurus, who was unjustly regarded to be all about over-indulgence. Completely incorrect. His view was that if it hurts (as over-indulgence does, now or later) then it's probably bad and if it is generally pleasurable without turning into something that hurts it's probably good. (I'm probably not summarizing well. So much for that classics minor!) So he tended to recommend moderate behavior. I know that when I eat badly I experience, eh, negative reenforcement, at least by the next day. (Unfortunately, it's not clear what "badly" is there. I experience a lot of negative reenforcement...) Anyway, it often seems to me like he might have something to say to me, I just keep not getting around to investigating. For what it's worth.
Edit: None of which really addresses the "all or nothing" impulse, I'm afraid.