Private nook where I attempt to defy gravity and come out of my shell.
Day 2: Homestuck

Before you start
- This post will definitely contain spoilers, but I will probably explain a tiny bit how Homestuck works. I'll try my best to keep the ending un-spoilered, since I know folks that haven't gotten around reading it yet. (Yes Homestuck, as of 3/14/16 is over. Who would've thought.)
- These are personal opinions. They're going to be biased, askew and vague, because my memory sucks and it's been a while since I've read the whole thing.
- It's still a long-ass post, and it gets a little image-heavy towards the bottom. Sorry about that.
Oh boy. I almost regret having chosen this particular fandom to talk about, because Homestuck is definitely the biggest thing I've ever tackled in my life. I just can't skip it though; it changed and influenced me so much, on so many different levels, both in my fandom life and my real life.
It took me two days to get this thing ready because it spans 4 years of my life, and I was maybe a little nostalgic about it... I hope you will at least skim it and learn something about me XD
Let me tell you about Homestuck
For those who don't know, Homestuck is a webcomic. It's 8k pages long. There are more than a hundred characters, and each of them has different personalities, issues, quirks, flaws, dreams and character arcs. The narrator when it's present writes in the second person.
Panels don't have a traditional fomat; they're usually big ass pictures or gifs (allegedly painted in MS Paint, which is the reason the site domain is "mspaintadventures") with a chat log or a paragraph beneath it. Half of the time, the dialogue is completely nonsense, or packed with obscure lexicon. Sometimes, instead of a normal panel, there's a flash video or an interactive game.
The storyline isn't linear, and it unravels on multiple levels. There are multiple timelines, that interact and interwave, following rules that aren't always clear; time travel is a thing that exists, as paradoxes are. There are multiple versions of characters from different timelines and dimensions. Some of them die, some don't and some get stuck halfway.
It's weird, bizarre, humorous, painful, dead-serious, way too honest and hilarious. It's a strange place where tragedy and comedy go hand by hand, deep thoughts and compelling characters sit right next to dick jokes and nonsensical lines (A bit like Shakespeare and boy, I wish I was kidding). It meets the requirements for a variety of classical genres and tropes and literary topoi, and then mercilessly destroys or overthrows them. It constantly interacts with - and makes fun of - itself, external media, its own author and audience. It's meta, and beyond meta; it's a complex, intertextual monster, and I've seen it grow and grow until the last page.
It's a mess basically, but it's so much fun. I keep trying to get people into it, and at the same time I feel bad because I know it's really hard to follow and to digest. I know that it's not a weird that anybody can appreciate. But don't worry; if you manage to get past the initial weirdness, you're set.
And this is going to be my best effort to explain what Homestuck's appeal consists of. From this point on, I will assume that you know what I'm talking about. Toodle.
TG: this shits more real than kraft mayo
I started reading Homestuck in the worst possible moment of my life: the summer between highschool and college, right as I was finishing up the reviewing for my graduation exam.
Back then it was only 5k pages long, and I read them all in one week. I don't know how I managed; I just know that every day for a week or so I would study for five hours and then it was Homestuck time. I read every word, I watched every flash video, I played every interactive game.
At first I didn't like it. It actually took two attempts before it (hah) stuck. The first time had been earlier that winter, but I couldn't get past the first few pages: the format was weird, the brand of humour too unfamiliar, so I dropped it. Apparently that summer I was enough desperate for an all-compassing distraction, to the point that I was able to power through the "boring" part.
I quickly became engrossed in John's quest, even if I still didn't find it as amazing as it had been advertised. Although, I remember thinking that it was great that, after the nonsense the whole weird tutorial shit that was the beginning of Act 1, I was finally starting to understand what was going on.
If you think about it, the premises of Homestuck are exactly the same as Jumanji: kids play a game to save the world. "It's a videogame quest," I thought. "John and his friends are going to enter the game, they're going to level up some, and then they'll meet the others and the evil boss, and they're going to defeat it all together." Pretty straightforward, right?
The thing about Homestuck is that it's pretty much the less straightforward thing in the multiverse. It doesn't just take you by surprise, itblind-sides you: you think it's going in a direction, and you happily follow along... and then something completely unexpected happens, and literally wipes away whatever you thought was going to be the outcome. Timelines split, characters get mass murdered, villains appear and change and multiply, the fabric of reality itself breaks apart, and you simply just cannot predict when it's going to happen, especially so early in the webcomic.
The other thing about Homestuck is that it starts slow. Melting-glacier slow.
What I'm trying to say is that the first time I read the thing through, for like the first four whole acts I was fueled by sheer frustration. At first because, since I was persuaded I already knew what was going on, I didn't want to sit through hundred of pages of what read like complete nonsense (and yes, I'm talking about the Intermission. I almost skipped it. I didn't, but it was a close thing). Then Terezi fucked over John's timeline, causing Dave to hop back in time to correct things, while John and Karkat kept chatting on their inverted timelines and then I was fueled by sheer WHAT THE FUCK.
Act 5 and Act 6 went way more smoothly, partly because I was really getting the hang of it (as in, I was completely resigned to its weirdness and to whatever Hussie decided to throw my way), and partly because trolls and Alpha kids.
I was caught up with the upd8 by the time that we discovered that Calliope wasn't another troll, but another kind of alien all together. From that point, I've been in a great adventure made of almost-daily upd8s, mega-pauses, music, fandom craziness and a whole lot of feels and amazing things.
TA: ii can't 2hake the feeliing the2e ruiin2 are goiing two be nothiing but trouble for u2.
The word I've seen most often used to describe the Homestuck fandom is "obnoxious". I am prone to agree, because I know that a lot of things connected to HS are inherently annoying.
(Just to make an example: its sense of humour. The ironic/unironic enjoyment of genuinely obnoxious things, and the perpetual repetition of nonsensical and/or dumb injokes can be really aggravating if you're not used to it. I could stand saying "I warned you about the stairs. I told you dog." several times a day and still find it histerical; my non-homestuck friends- not so much.)
But the best thing about the homestuck fandom was its creativity and productivity: everyday, my tumblr dashboard was filled with fanarts, cosplayers, fanfiction, fansongs, jokes and memes, meta and speculation and theories and so much more.
On top of that, thanks to this fandom and its diversity I learned things. I grew up.
I'd never been in such a diverse environment, so it was the first time that I was, for example, introduced to the concept of "colorblind/non-traditional casting", which in this case stood for "every headcanon about the characters' body type (including ethnic/racial traits) is fair game": albino and black Striders, short and tall Lalondes, ginger Roxies and fat Janes, trans Dirks and agender Jakes who weren't afraid to show their bodies, no matter their shapes.
It was an important step for me, for two reasons: 1) it shook me out of my white-ass mentality (which I never realized I had until I got metaphorically slapped in the face with the mentioned fanarts) and 2) suddently it was okay for me to cosplay Karkat or Dave or who the fuck I wanted, even with those wide hips of mine that I always hated.
I liked that there was also a certain rituality, a consistency that wrapped everything together. A few examples: everytime that an upd8 went online, there was upd8 art; there were specific patterns to group shots (the Alpha kids! The StriLondes! The Heart players! The Vantases! and so on); specific formats to crossovers and AUs (militarystuck, SNKstuck, mermaidstuck, featherstuck hemostuck....).
I mostly stayed away from the "nasty" parts of fandom; I'd seen little pockets of drama and shitty fandom policing, but I was never part of that, so thank god I only have good memories.
GG: i didn't even know karkat made a shipping diagram...
I never tried to keep a shipping diagram, because it got really complicated really fast.
I'm going to keep it short: I SHIPPED ANYTHING IN ANY COMBINATION IN ANY QUADRANT.
HS is a fandom where I especially don't like playing favourites because everyone is different and amazing in different ways... I did have a few soft spots for certain dynamics and characters and relationships, though.
Among the kids, I definitely prefer the Strider-Lalonde clan over the Buckteeth&Glasses/the J-club. As a whole I find them more complex, with a set of issues and problems that I relate to more. Rose and Dave's banter was one of the things I enjoyed the most from the get going; Roxy reminds me painfully of certain things I used to do; Dirk is one of the characters I've ever related to the most in my life. Other than those angsty, heavy reasons, I also like them more aesthetically (laughs): swords and pointy things, cats and birds, fire and rain, writing and magic? Heck yeah!
Among the trolls, Karkat Vantas is above them all. I just like everything about him. His chatlogs are among the most hilarious and painful. He's a ball of fluffy angst, he makes me weak. Close second is Kanaya, mostly because she's a class act; she's kind but sassy, elegant but also a goof. I have mixed feelings towards Gamzee, especially because of his role towards the end; he's really interesting as a character though, and everyone loves a good antagonist. My feelings towards Eridan tell about me that I am, in fact, an actual alien troll; I used to hate him so much, then something happened (Roachpatrol, probably) and I started to... pity him? What the hell. So now I like him.
As I said, I actually don't dislike any of them; I probably should've done a ranking list or something, but I didn't want to make this post longer than it already is. (I'm so sorry)
Relationship-wise, I am a collie of simple tastes: I'll read anything that has a Strider or a Vantas in it, but I'm not picky. I'll read anything, for the hell of it (including Dad/Bro and Gamzee/Roxy, among other rare pairings) as long as it's well written and it tickles my curiousity.
My favourite quadrant is the moirallegiance one; I'd say because it's genereally sweet and the one I find more "romantic", but thinking about it, it was probably my asexual ass looking for validation even back then. A canon romantic orientation that didn't require sex or sexual attraction: it sounded really fucking amazing to me. The fact that it was the first kind of relationship to appear in the story is one of the main reasons for which I never let go of Gamzee/Karkat, even if it's the most unhealthy shit in the paradox space.
That said, I don't dislike smut. The xenobiology side of tumblr made amazing things out of speculations and theories about troll sexuality. The most common was the presence of both a "nook" and a "bulge" for each troll (which sounded really good to me, and it's still a personal favorite); but I also found completely hilarious that iteration where the "genetic material contribution" was literally spitting into a bucket (hello hemostuck- I'll be talking about it in a moment).
Shockingly enough, I have a NOTP in Homestuck, and it's one of the most popular ships out there. I can't stand Dirk/Jake. I've read some and I liked some and I reblogged fanart more than once, but don't ask me to write happy Dirk/Jake. The reason I don't like them is tied to personal reasons (remember when I said that I related to Dirk? Well...) and it bothers me to no end when I see happy endings for them. "It's just a fictional couple!" I've been telling myself, but I never could bring myself to get over it. So whatever.
DAVE: is that more wizard fan fiction
The fic recs will be quick and... I was going to say painless, but then I remembered that I'm going to rec a few "dead" WIPs. Oopsie. Sorry about that.
Anything by Roachpatrol: Just read everything.
Why: She writes everything so well. Spot on characterization, amazing worldbuilding, great plots, lots of alternative universe and hot smut, if you're into that. I especially like her take on Karkat/Eridan. She also has a tumblr where she posts fanart. It's not tagged really well so you're gonna have to scroll a bit.
Hemostuck by Roachpatrol and urbanAnchorite.: Alternia: where warm blood defines a troll's nobility, cold blood their commonalty, and Her Imperial Luminescence Aradia Megido struggles to keep her people together. Whether or not she can do it before Ascension Day is another thing entirely.
Why: It's basically a canon-AU where the hemospectrum is completely inverted; Aradia is at the top and Feferi at the bottom. Even if the serie's summary talks about her, the works that are collected in it don't; they're mostly about Eridan and Karkat's relationship, and the weird deal with Karkat's blood (which I'm not going to spoiler) who is a limeblood in this fic. It's my fave HS fic.
The Serendipity Gospels by schellibie and urbanAnchorite. It continues HERE (and I just found out, so now I've got READING TO DO)
Why; because it's chock full of worldbuilding, that's why. It follows the adventure and relationship of Gamzee and Terezi (before their relationship was even HINTED in canon- you can imagine how shocked they were when Hussie canonized that) in their teens and adult lives, if the whole SGRUB shebang never happened. I started reading it because it promises Karkat/Gamzee at some point, and because it has the most beautiful illustrations.
Battlefield Terra by Asuka Kureru.
Why; because it's a sort of crossover between Evangelion and Homestuck and it's amazing. It's still ongoing and it goes so slow that you want to set yourself on fire but it's worth it.
That's it. I was going to rec more, but this post is already too long as it is, and my pinboard is a mess. I'm trying to retag everything in a way that makes sense but I'm really bad at it. If you're willing, you can check it out and see if you find something... good luck.
FCG: OVER THE COURSE OF THIS ADVENTURE, AT TIMES I ACTUALLY BEGAN TO SUSPECT I WAS MY OWN KISMESIS.
I used this line as the title for the section dedicated to my contribution to the fandom because it was the concept that made me write my first canon-Homestuck fanfiction (laughs).
They say that the first ingredient to be creative is to surround oneself with creative people, and that's completely true. I did write a little while I was active in the fandom, but I've also drawn fanart and created OCs and crafted cosplay, and it was thanks to the people I've met while I was in the fandom.
The trollsona (and the fanart)
The most memorable friend I made during that time is the Pilot. I met them in Modern History class because they were doodling a redraw of this panel, waiting for the class to start, and I totally went creepy stalker over their shoulder and I whisper-shouted OH MY GOD YOU READ HOMESTUCK. We were completely strangers. We stood and hugged like long-lost siblings. It was fucking amazing. Now they're one of my main partners in crime and best friends.
As soon as I started hanging out with them, they started drawing trollsonas for us and our (non-HS) friends. It was a novelty to me; self-insertion always sounded suspicious to me, but with them I found out how fun it could be: and so Deerna Zantos was born. Doesn't that sound familiar? (laughs)
(Sketch by the Pilot: Deerna Zantos, an unnamed trollsona and the Pilot's trollsona. Knasse Kazhar. They're kismoirails. Deerna's strife specibus is tableleg-kind, and she's a limeblood like Karkat was in Hemostuck. Yeah, I don't know either. It was supposed to be funny and really corny and self-indulgent. )
The first time I wrote about her, it was a zombie-apocalypse fic which contained a little of her backstory. It was calledThis is worst than "In which a Young troll runs away from her Matesprite who was infected with a mysterious virus, and leaves on a boat so she can save herself but when she reaches the isolated island she finds out that there are infected zombies on there too", but at least there's a pale subplot. Quite a mouthful, huh. It was just a bit of fun, and absolutely, self-indulgently awful.
I thought I'd seen the last of her back then, but then she stuck around. Her name became my tumblr url, and then my main username for pretty much everything. My twitter is still @limeblooded because of her. I put her in one of my canon-AU fanfic just to kill her off (a little like Hussie did to the canon fantrolls that won the kickstarter...). Her personality bled a little irl when I joked around with the Pilot/Knasse.
She later became a character in a fan-adventure that I wrote with other friends (and my GF at the time), and acquired a dancestor (Ateeri Zantos) and a really badass Ancestor (the Petriχor):
(These are my own drawings for the characters spreadsheets. I'm so damn proud of how they came out, I couldn't paint like this anymore even if I tried)
We liked our OCs so much that we ended up doing cosplay of it.
The Cosplay
I did cosplay in my life, but I never had so much fun as when I had this cosplay group. We started working together when we got into SNK, and then I managed to drag them into HS, right around the time that the Dancestors had made their appearance. And so the cosplay began.
(Good dancestors. Best friends. Yours truly was Kankri. )
(Kenoma as Kanaya Maryam)
... and then we disbanded, because life. But it was fun, and someday I'd like to do something else with them (a Hemostuck or Ancestors group, for example. Stay tuned...)
The fanfiction
With all these exciting things happening, I didn't have much time to write- but let's be honest, that never stopped me.
- All the Shades in Between (ita), the fic where Karkat is his own kismesis, and Dave acts as his auspistice. I was very proud of this story because it's 14k words long, it's in the 2nd person and switches POVs with the same format as the source material, it's DaveKat and there's a pun in the title. Plus, it's canon compliant. It's a little cringe-worthy, but it was a cool style experiment.
- Whatever Works (ita) my first ever threesome! it's a 3-way matespritship between John, Dave and Karkat. It's set in a canon-AU where the trolls conquered the Earth and established a society where humans and trolls cohabit in a (for some reason) peaceful environment. Karkat is worried because he's afraid he won't find a concupiscent mate in time for Drone Season. Pale GamKat on the side.
- Crimson (ita) Canon-AU, the one where Deerna Zantos dies offscreen, lol. Once again, the trolls conquer the Earth; this time there's nothing peaceful about it. Karkat and his squad of (OCs) Threshecutioners have a mission dubbed 'aggressive recog': the indigoblood in the squad lets loose a few chucklevodoos, the humans panick and attack first so that the troll can respond to the fire. As soon as Karkat wounds the first human, and candy red blood spills in his face, he thinks that his secret is out and has a panic attack. Thinking that he got affected by the chucklevodoos, a teammate removes Karkat from the action. Karkat, feeling cornered, 'fesses up, but his friend agrees to keep his secret. I still like this fic, to the point that I wrote a snippet set in the same 'verse (Denial, ita), and a long bit of unfinished meant-to-be-porn (in English, wow), Paint it red, which will never leave my LJ.
- A door to walk through (ita) is a very unhappy, canon-divergent, onesided Dirk>Jake. They're stuck on one of the moons with a bunch of zombified carapaces and they're trying to stay alive, when at some point some zombie gunk sprays all over Dirk (because katanas are the worst weapon for a zombie apocalypse; yes, it's literally the reason I wrote this) and it's implied that Jake won't risk going around with an infected team mate. I've been asked why I hate fun and happiness, after I wrote this fic. My answer is that I don't, but this was so fun to write.
- Indigo Moon is my only English homestuck fic, and it's a revival kind of thing. Bloodswap AU GamKat, in which Karkat is a indigo-blood and Gamzee is mutant-blood. It's really not canon compliant, but it's my attempt at kismesis (Karkat ♠ Sollux, who is a seadweller of all things) and it's short but bloody.
You can't believe this project is finally finished.
I can and I will and I'll thank the Lord, because that was even longer and even more nostalgic than I thought. I definitely left out a bunch of things that I wanted to say and I could've said, but on top of that there's the realization that Homestuck is really over.
It was a solid part of my life for 4 years. There were mega pauses and breaks in between, during which I dedicated myself to other fandoms, but Homestuck was always there in the background, giving me feels and making me laugh and just happening. It stayed with me as I started university, as I lived through my first love, and my first breakup, as I grew up and I learned things about myself. There are things in my forma mentis, in my sense of humour, in the way I write and appreciate the new media and the fandom that are all because of Homestuck.
So this post was a walk down memory lane, but it was also a little about myself. I hope it didn't get too boring in the end, but I think it needed to be this long.








