On crying

You may have seen somebody holding a tumbler or cup with ‘MALE TEARS’ on it. This was probably done to make fun of the misogynists who become offended by something that a third-wave feminist said, rather than to belittle male suffering as a whole. Predictably, misogynists respond to this by… being offended again. I have a blurry memory of somebody on Twitter denouncing this as hypocritical. If not, then I’m sure that at least one chap somewhere else said so. I would like to examine the larger context of this.

In our culture, it is rarely acceptable for grown men to openly cry. The most obvious exception is when he’s been affected by a very serious tragedy, like a loved one expiring. But for ‘little things,’ such as bullying, verbal abuse, frustration, pure pleasure, or seeing a dead animal somewhere, the preference (I think) is that they not cry. In some of these cases, anger seems like the typical response. The implicit reasoning behind this is probably that it’s somehow ‘emasculating’ to cry so casually. That is why ‘drinking male tears’ is considered extra offensive to misogynists: they consider it emasculating.

Whenever a feminist says something disagreeable, the usual response is anger, whether it’s in the form of threats, insults, or just mean-spirited jokes. I have never once heard of or seen a feminist, directly or indirectly, drive a grown man to tears. Not once. What would that say about him? Would it indicate that he’s sorry for all of the annoyances, suffering, and difficulties that she deals with on a regular basis, usually due to men like him? Would it indicate sympathy? How would the antifems feel about him (if at all)?