social justice league chats
On crying
You may have seen somebody holding a tumbler or cup with ‘MALE TEARS’ on it. This was probably done to make fun of the misogynists who become offended by something that a third-wave feminist said, rather than to belittle male suffering as a whole. Predictably, misogynists respond to this by… being offended again. I have a blurry memory of somebody on Twitter denouncing this as hypocritical. If not, then I’m sure that at least one chap somewhere else said so. I would like to examine the larger context of this.
In our culture, it is rarely acceptable for grown men to openly cry. The most obvious exception is when he’s been affected by a very serious tragedy, like a loved one expiring. But for ‘little things,’ such as bullying, verbal abuse, frustration, pure pleasure, or seeing a dead animal somewhere, the preference (I think) is that they not cry. In some of these cases, anger seems like the typical response. The implicit reasoning behind this is probably that it’s somehow ‘emasculating’ to cry so casually. That is why ‘drinking male tears’ is considered extra offensive to misogynists: they consider it emasculating.
Whenever a feminist says something disagreeable, the usual response is anger, whether it’s in the form of threats, insults, or just mean-spirited jokes. I have never once heard of or seen a feminist, directly or indirectly, drive a grown man to tears. Not once. What would that say about him? Would it indicate that he’s sorry for all of the annoyances, suffering, and difficulties that she deals with on a regular basis, usually due to men like him? Would it indicate sympathy? How would the antifems feel about him (if at all)?




Well, the antifeminists continue to gleefully bring up "shirtstorm" (I refuse to apply the -gate suffix that overtook the original name) in which that scientist tearfully apologized for his shirt. But the problem is from what I recall most of the flak he got came from fellow scientists.
Still, all the time top comments are like "They drove a guy who landed a probe on a comet to tears! Don't you see how petty and misandrist they are?!" Because a guy breaking down while apologizing over criticism of his shirt is totally comparable to years of daily anonymous rape and death threats.
For all of their posturing on the issue, you'd think anti-fems would be more sympathetic to the plight of others. But they typically only care about things that fit their narrative. Would any of them take the time to understand the issues that truly do affect men in our society? Like what about increased suicide rates for men? Or maybe male victims of domestic violence? But not once have I seen a discussion of matters like this turn into a meeting of the "he-man women haters club." Skewed sexual norms hurt everyone. If they could shut up and listen for a minute maybe they'd see that.
Nah . . . who am I kidding? 😔
How would you feel/react if you were the one making a man cry in your hypothetical?
I would tell him that I don’t hate him, and that I admire him for not getting angry. I’d offer him help first, and then ask if he’d like to help me and others.
the main thing about MALE TEARS jokes ist hat they arent funny