All about film - Within and beyond the frame, in a new world and our own. Further the conversation!

All about film - Within and beyond the frame, in a new world and our own. Further the conversation!
All about film - Within and beyond the frame, in a new world and our own. Further the conversation!
Hello,
The main problem I see with your opening is that it attempts to be too much at a time. It skips from visual style to visual style, puts out idea after idea, before the last one can even achieve any emotional response in the viewer and thus it distracts from the contemplative voice-over which (I suspect) is crucial for the understanding of what comes afterwards.
I know it can be very challenging for a director to cut back, because the director is proud of the footage and how it looks and to edit it out hurts. But I would strongly suggest doing just that in order to find the central idea.
First though, you should consider what kind of effect you want to achieve: Is it supposed to be tragic? Dramatic? Mysterious? Suspenseful?
Then ask yourself: Which footage is the best to evoke these emotions? Is it the shot in the ruined building? The dancing with the flare? Or the floating chair? Whichever sequence it is, this should be your central image. Cut back on everything else, because it only becomes distracting.
Let me give you an example of what I mean, with the iconic opening of "Se7en": https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OEq-4fua3lM
Although there is lots of different footage in there and the editing is fast. There is a definitive visual style and emotion to all of it, evoking depravity and decay. Every little detail supports these ideas.
While I can see that you would want to go for a similar effect, the footage that you have, is very disparate: The floating chair is surreal, the selfie-like shots of the actress' face are realistic, the angel wings are larger-than-life, etc.
A counter-example is the iconic opening of "Twin Peaks", from the mid-90s which is a very good example of how to evoke emotions with very, very little: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i7d0Lm_31BE
The way it deliberately decelerates with its imagery of nature and refuses to hint of what is going to happen next, only reinforces the mystery of the series.
So: Choose one idea or emotion and then stick to it. Convey to your audience that this is the best idea ever and do not weaken it by diluting with other ideas and images.
I hope that helps.
Thank you very much I appreciate the time you have put into your answer! I completely agree with you on this. This wasn't the original idea but we had to have this to for-fill the criteria set. The premise of the film is to talk about mental health and the emotions portrayed through different characters. I will definitely take this on board and I'm very grateful for you answer and thoughts!