Processing... Processing

I think I've pinpointed , well maybe found the approximate GPS coordinates of my extra depression this round. The damage done.

Figuring out how to accept whatever damage cannot be healed, hammered out, written out - pick your metaphor - means that I will have to incorporate this damage into who I am now. This is not something I just realized but I think it's contributing to my current malaise.

Right now, finding constructive postive things to say is ... not so much happening. I have constructive positive things I do. Little things like take a shower and bigger things like the World Building Workshop I am working through.

I know that hurt and anger are feelings I have subverted the most over the years and I'm feeling those ... but not associated to anything I can put my finger on. I could make some suppositions related to my worry cycle of how the fuck I'm going to build a new life instead of this limbo I'm living in right now trying to recover. I guess maybe I need to find something in my stories that needs to be written angry and channel these feelings.

Right now I need to get myself focused on being ready to be out and about today.

At least the view isn't bad and I've got an extra little friend (low-light photo, cropped but not otherwise edited) image-1475758396345.jpg