Official announcements and happiness!
Today we cry, tomorrow we build
Today I went to pick my kids up from a sleepover. I got them and went to lunch with them, they are 13 and 14 years old.
We sat at lunch and I asked them what they knew about what happened in Orlando. My son (14) told me that 50 people had been killed in a gay bar. He lamented for a minute about how sad it was and then we enjoyed our lunch.
We just moved on.
What the fuck is wrong with us all? This isn't normal. My kids are used to this! This isn't OK for the queer community. This isn't ok for the US. This isn't OK for the world.
I know we have a lot of LGBTQ folks here on Imzy and my heart goes out to you. We are with you and always will be with you.
We have a chance to build something here at Imzy that can make real change in the world. It's going to take a while, but together can can make a difference.
Today we cry, tomorrow we build.




So say we all!
I'm fighting this myself. How do we live with this as the norm? I don't want to.
I don't know.
I know. The only way to fight this is one person at a time looking inside, finding love, and sharing it. That, or wwe all die. Either way the hatred and violence will be over.
Our world needs more /kindness.
The effect of social media on helping visibility of LGBT persons is huge. With people being online more it helps expose them to people outside their communities, it helps normalize LGBT people. I think too often people do not leave their social bubble, but when they can be exposed to LGBT people, it makes it a lot harder to dehumanize us.
With me coming out at work I will probably take an adjunct teaching position at a college. I was already offered it but turned it down. Without a doubt, even though people tell me I pass I want everyone in that class to be aware that I am trans, even if I change the minds of a few people it will help.
Making a community that is inclusive from the start that prevents people from spreading harmful stereotypes. I am excited for Imzy and hope that it can be a platform for people to become educated and hopefully help prevent tragedy and hate crimes like we saw today.
Thanks for being here!
The below is copies from a therapist on FB. I think it's good. I really do believe Imzy can hep the world in the long run. The way we do it will likely not be by being a typical social network. We need to find our way to be different and better.
Some of you may feel that you don't have much connection to the LGBTQ community, and may feel understandably helpless as you watch the news. The reality is, this does affect you very much.
As you may know, I am a psychotherapist at an LGBTQ clinic in Chelsea, a neighborhood that is one of the original epicenters of queer activism in the United States. My patients are thoughtful, intelligent, and sensitive people. Many of them have clinically diagnosable trauma, whether it's from an invalidating home environment or a daily barrage of hostile, violent, oppressive legislature, or even just a hateful person on the street - or a combination of all of the above.
When I go into work tomorrow, I will prepare myself not only to discuss the shit my patients are already going through, but also this morning's brutal attack. I have no doubt at all that this will reverberate throughout my sessions with people for a long time - not to mention my interactions with coworkers and managers.
My point is, violence deeply affects us, whether we are directly connected to the event or not. It exhausts us and makes us feel helpless, or angry in a directionless way. We lash out at one another. We promise to enact retribution (I'm looking at you, Obama). We forget that violence begets violence.
There are many things we (I'm talking about those of us who are physically and emotionally able) can do instead of reacting to this in an ineffective way.
Most importantly, take some time and take care of yourself. If that doesn't work, stop reading this and go continue to take care of yourself until you are better. This may mean taking a break from social media and/or TV.
Deliberately interact with the people you encounter in a loving way - even people you don't know or don't like.
Consider what societal environments make acts of terror - domestic or abroad - attractive to people. How do we counteract this? I have a suspicion it is not through more violence.
Vote for people whose work is aligned with compassion and real action. Resist the temptation to demonize fellow citizens who disagree with you.
Hold accountable people in power and people who choose to engage in violence and oppression, whether they're someone on the internet or your uncle or an elected official. Do not back down, do not let them off the hook.
Use your money or your time in constructive ways. Are you spending your time being a part of the problem or part of the solution?
Rinse and repeat.
At the risk of sounding corny, we are all in this together. There's no second chance. This is it. You are all essential.
Hi Dan - thanks for sharing that; it's appreciated. Are you able to provide a link to the therapist's post?
Thanks for posting this, Dan. 💚
The legit gofundme page seems to be over here
For folks looking for support, we have a thread over in /queeries
Our active /news thread about the topic seems to be this one.
The Trevor Project is also available to talk, for anyone impacted:
If folks need links to any other resources, please let me know and I'll try to find the appropriate links if you need.
Many of those killed were targeted because they were born LGBTQ. The person who killed them wasn't born hating LGBTQ individuals. We can do better, we MUST do better. We can stop the hate.
I discussed this with my 12 year old Autistic son and he said "That's so sad. We should be nice to everyone. They were just trying to be happy about who they are." If a disabled child "gets it" why can't normally functioning adults????
I think there's a bit of normalization but also I think there's certain amount of self-protection in not breaking down everytime something happens. Last year I felt as if all the things which were happening in the world were slowly sucking away my will to live. I feel like I've only just started to pick myself up again - and then this happened. I cried and cried when I woke up to this news (I'm in AEST). How can we keep allowing these things things to happen? And by allow - I guess I mean that comments section hatred, the language used to describe people, the lack of capacity for some to feel empathy, the inability to care for each other... all this contributes to this atmosphere in which someone can just take the lives of 50 people.
I'm rambling. Sorry.
rambling is okay and understandable 💚
also you make a lot of sense.
Thanks @greenie 💜
I've spent most of my afternoon (seeing as I'm on the other side of the world) moving from being depressed to playing games with my family to crying alone to try and create something despite the pain. Nothing is wrong with us it's just how we go through shit like that. Cry try to not think about the tragedy cry some more try to make the most out of a horrible situation and finally fill dead inside for still being part of this broken world. So we're going to cry today build today cry some more and build while still crying to the point where all the bricks are wet and there are signs of tragedy everywhere so we can't and will not forget why it was built for the first place!!!!!!!!
This was my response. https://youtu.be/v44e7PEPWjI
Ps, if you watch tv news, they are intentionally filling your mind with this horrible stuff. It sells products. I stopped watching and did not know about this for hours after it happened.
I wonder if younger people don't see this as another example of the many hate crimes against LGBTQ people because they've grown up in a world more accepting of homosexuals. Maybe they don't quite understand the extent to how this is just another reason for us to have fear of living as ourselves. I do notice that we are becoming more desensitized to attacks because of how often they are happening. A lot of people (myself included) don't show any response because we're shocked and not sure of what we can say to make anyone feel better.
It's hard not to become desensitized.
On one hand, you've got to be thankful that you and your kids WERE able to continue to enjoy your lunch. Horrors like this should make everyone appreciate what they have.
On the other hand, moving on with your life doesn't mean forgetting or diminishing the tragedy. It doesn't mean embracing a false sense of safety in the idea of, "It can't happen HERE..." You continue to talk and read and learn and participate.
And yes, focus on what we can and ARE contributing to the world. Imzy is about trying to build better communities and I think that's a pretty needful thing in this world right now.
I don't know how it's a norm but I don't like it at all. However, on the other hand at least we don't live in a world where it's SO common that they're not being reported on. At least, when these things do happen, people are sad. If the cafe across the street from you was shot up you, and everyone else, would be terrified.
Those things are reported on because they're uncommon.
The expected response is fear, we are much stronger and better together and together we shall act, rather than cower.
Blood banks need donations, long-term workers may need food (if you're in the area), and we all need to take a moment to speak to our friends and families and let all around us know that we will not give into fear, but stand together stronger than ever before.
Blessings upon the lost, and strength to the remaining.
People don't care about this stuff because it's not them :/
Think of it, if a random kid was kidnapped, will you care? Will you go searching for him? No!
But what if that kid was a part of your family! You'll look for him 24/7 never sleep never rest until you find him.
I think that's some kind of "Survival" sense in people.
Do you guys remember what happened in paris?
Well, It didn't only happen in paris, the world just didn't care about the rest, the "poor countries" As they are called.
People are "Broken" in a certain way :/
@Dan , I think about that everyday.