Gather here to chat about your day & have fun with all your Imzy friends!
"Are you okay?"

Sometimes these three words can change everything for another person!
The image above is a reverse power and control wheel showing a healthy relationship of equality. I think it's always a good idea to check in and make sure your relationships are healthy.
Here is another!
The rest of the images are varieties of the original Duluth Model power and control wheel, developed to help identify and explain the methods of domestic abuse. It's not always easy to understand how it works. It can be complex and subtle, and it can also be purely nonphysical (and equally damaging)
Check out the wheels and see what you think.
http://www.theduluthmodel.org/pdf/PowerandControl.pdf
There are also some useful links here:
https://www.ourwatch.org.au/Preventing-Violence
https://speakoutloud.net/intimate-partner-abuse/new-power-and-control-wheel
http://www.theduluthmodel.org/stop-violence/index.html
http://www.joyfulheartfoundation.org/learn/domestic-violence
http://www.loveisrespect.org/healthy-relationships/
This link is political, but I share it because its descriptions of tactics are useful, and it's also kind of mind boggling.
https://www.thenation.com/article/donald-trump-is-a-textbook-abuser-and-women-everywhere-know-it/
Why share this today? I've been thinking about it recently. A friendly aquaintance of mine is pretty clearly trapped in this cycle. What do I do? I ask her if she needs to talk. I tell her I am there to listen. I tell her that I have noticed she could be in need of help. I tell her I'm there for her, anytime. That if she needs anything, she can call. I ask her if she's okay.
Reaching out can make a difference. It might take time, but it can help somebody escape the traumatic cycle.
I am a domestic abuse survivor, so I am always interested in spreading this knowledge. I know that if my family had been more aware of the reality of abuse and the tools for power and control illustrated so well in the wheel, I might have escaped my situation sooner. I am perfectly well and safe now, however, so I feel that I am lucky.
I like to share the information in hopes that some day, somebody else might choose not to look away when they see the signs. Opening up to one's self and others, and beginning to process what is happening, is a crucial step toward escaping a situation like this.
If you suspect a friend or loved one is being abused, tell them you’ve noticed, open the conversation, and ask: are you okay?
The most important thing you can do is listen to somebody, believe them, and make sure they know you are there to support them.











It's amazing how much my coworkers love hearing "What can I do for you today." Yesterday two of them stalled out after hearing it and then said "thank you for that". I say it all the time; I think they just need to hear it more this week.
I have an opposite problem of asking people if they're OK TOO MUCH!