Discussion of issues affecting men in modern society, informed by feminist study and critique.
Why boys need to have conversations about emotional intimacy in classrooms
Why boys need to have conversations about emotional intimacy in classrooms
Last month, Tom Porton, an award-winning, veteran Bronx high school teacher, handed in his resignation after colliding with the school's principal. Porton had distributed HIV/AIDS education fliers listing nonsexual ways of "Making Love Without Doin' It" (including advice to "read a book together").
"American boys end up paying a price for a culture that does not support their needs for intimacy. For the issue is that while boys crave closeness, they are expected to act as if they are emotionally invulnerable. Among the American boys I interviewed, I observed a conflict between their desires and the prevailing masculinity norms – if they admit to valuing romantic love, they risk being viewed as “unmasculine.”
Unrealistic and unfair expectations about boys’ lack of emotional vulnerability, in turn, make it harder for them to navigate both platonic and romantic relationships. One studyfound that as boys move through the teenage years, masculinity norms (beliefs that men should be tough and not behave in ways marked as “feminine”), particularly the stigma of homosexuality, make it harder to maintain close same-sex friendships, leaving boys lonely and sometimes depressed.
With less practice sustaining intimacy, boys enter romantic relationships less confident and less skilled. Ironically, many boys end up less prepared for, but more emotionally reliant on, heterosexual contacts."




I know with my adult male friends whom I feel close to there's a lot of discussion of things like feelings and desires. If I were a different person I would have very different, markedly less intimate friendship.
I sincerely wish that emotional development and health were discussed in male circles or content gendered to men, I think it would make a marked difference on how men perceive themselves and others.
I'm so so grateful that people are talking more and more about this. It's SO important. There are so many positive side effects in society to men embracing emotional intimacy. Not only does it mean healthier and happier individual men, it means lower crime rates, less rape, less LGBT bigotry...it's a WIN WIN WIN practice.