A place to complain, whine, share, and laugh about the horrors that visit us once a month (supposedly).
Hmmm...
Aunt Erma came for a visit the other day, and I've just felt miserable all week. But, a thought popped into my head this evening, and I'm not sure why or where the thought came from. But does anyone else feel shame when their period comes for a visit? Like, IDK why I feel that way, but I just do. I guess it just makes me feel so gross and such, that it just kind of feels like shame. If that makes any sense. I guess because periods are almost never talked about, and it's so taboo to talk about them. And if talk ever does happen, then it's usually in hushed tones, and people use nicknames for them. IE: Aunt Erma, Shark Week, so on and so forth. It's interesting, and I wonder why that is. Is it cause it's so personal? Am I alone in feeling the shame?




I understand...
It took me a long time to just say screw it and be open. Sure it causes looks of terror in the faces of certain folks. But why should we feel shame for something that naturally occurs to human beings?
See, that's my conflict. I realize it's a natural thing, but, for some odd reason I always just feel ashamed about it. And I'm never sure why. I think I'm slowly getting to the point where I'm trying to be more open about it. In fact, the whole being bold and more open thing, is something I'm working on.
Sometimes these things are instilled at a young age. What's important is that you're questioning it now. ❤
So veryvery true! Funny how growing up makes you realize things.
I agree with @TheLizardQueen - it has a lot to do with socialization.
I think it's because it's a "bathroom" event. And we don't talk about bathroom things. No, it isn't digestive in nature, but that's generally what we associate it with. Go to the bathroom, change your pad or tampon (empty your cup, more recently). Even when trying to normalize talk of periods and reproduction with my children, and we discussed the best ways for those with uteruses and vaginas to handle menstruation, they still didn't want dad in on the conversation. And absolutely no way would either of the ones with vaginas ask dad or their brother to get pads. (Well, one hasn't had the need yet.)
Shame isn't quite the word I'd use though. That implies that there's something wrong with it. And I don't think that's how I feel. And I don't think that's how they feel. (Though they're in a different city and probably asleep right now, so I can't ask.) This is the same child that named their fish Estrogen Beam. I think it's more that it is that bathroom talk, and not something they speak of in front of people they haven't already spoken about it with.
The only thing is, would they be embarrassed to ask their dad to buy toilet paper? Cause that's a bathroom thing, but nobody seems to be terribly embarrassed about toilet paper the way they are about tampons or pads.
I just wish both the stores and everyone else could stop acting like tampons and pads are these super-secret items that must be hidden and alluded to only in the vaguest of terms. No man gets embarrassed when you ask him to buy a vegetable he doesn't like, or shampoo he doesn't use, when he's running out to the store, but it's rare to find a man who isn't embarrassed to buy tampons. It's weird, because they are just a really common household product that a ton of people use regularly, that happen to get used mostly in the bathroom, just like toilet paper.
Actually, that particular child wouldn't ask their father for toilet paper, either. (Then again, all three of my children have been known to go out of their way to not ask their dad for things. One was sitting a foot away from him and needed something from amazon, which is his account and they texted me for the info.) But maybe it's a bathroom things mixed with a sex thing. Even though I have told all three of my kids that I will get them condoms or give them money for condoms or birth control, no questions asked, if that's a thing that they need, I don't know if my son would go to me or his father for that. Or if he would just ask for the money and go to the store himself.
Side note to important topics: That is an amazing fucking name and I wish I could go back and rename myself in this community.
It's so funny because the fish's names are all rather boring except for that one.
Laser, Popeye, Fitty, Herp, Derp, Panda, Carrot Top, Tet, Ra, ESTROGEN BEAM, Derek, Kermit...
A little late to the party but....
I grew up in a predominantly ciswoman household, so I don't think I necessarily experience shame, but again, I think it has a lot to do with socialization and modern roles/attitudes of cismen.
I won't advertise that I'm on my period, but if I'm talking to my coworker (a ciswoman) about it, I won't lower my voice or anything (sometimes she shushes me). And god forbid a cisman asks me "Why are you taking your purse to the bathroom with you? What, are you leaving early for the day?" I will be blunt. Fuck you. How do you not know these things?
That being said, I do feel something close to shame if I accidentally bleed on something (ie sheets, panties, pants, etc).
I sincerely hope this community helps you be more bold and open about your period, or anything else! Sometimes I even catch myself thinking "Ooo should I post this? Is this considered NSFW?" Fuck that and fuck society - post to your hearts content about bleeding!!
This reminded me of something... To be honest I rather enjoy the look of horror in my partner's eyes when I ask him to pick up products for me when he is shopping LOL. I will tell him the specific brand and where to find it in whatever store he is at. He's learning LOL.
I kind of do? It depends on the group I'm with - other women/people my age, I'll chat kinda bluntly about it. But I've never mentioned it around my dad or old men. IDK why.
It's a little odd given this impulse I have to complain every period about what the fuck was evolution thinking making this so painful/why is period pain so more widely/seriously acknowledged as painful/messy (officially as bad as a heart attack) and that if this was a mens issue there would be free pads/tampons/stronger pain relief.
I generally just want to give out to the world about it. But I only do around those I'm very comfortable with