This is a group of tinycentric writers and illustrators/artists, creating and discussing original stories and artwork.
excerpt from chapter "The Circling of Tiny Sharks"
He dialed the motel phone as I hung up our coats. His voice was easy and slippery. No tying of tongue here.
“Hi, honey! What a long drive! I was the last one to arrive. Miss Poliform waited for me though, so she could introduce me to the others. She was impressed I made the trip in such weather. Older. A bit of a busybody. And her Irish setter tried to jump up on me. I’m going to survey the property in the morning - too dark and snowy now, and my back is killing me. There’s a reception at one of the local places - a couple of other people are here, history and architecture buffs - but I’m sore and tired and I’m gonna take an Advil, call it a night. Whatcha up to? Yeah, I’m sorry I’m missing that. Yeah, will do. I should be glad I took this opportunity. Call you tomorrow - or you can call Miss Poliform’s office, and she’ll fetch me. Miss you. Love you.”
It’s a rare thing to hear a lie woven in such a heavenly manner. The efficiency, the economy of words. The talent. Even the tactic of his parting lie was clever: “Or you can call Miss Poliform’s office, and she’ll fetch me.” That’s f~cking nervy. When he hung up the phone, he said “That’s that,” and turned to me with the grin I would see once more, in a few years, when I was the one on the receiving end of the same brilliance that was, if you think about it, wasted. Wasted on me, wasted on everything. Maybe the people who run the country started out this way.




I adore this: It’s a rare thing to hear a lie woven in such a heavenly manner.
But also the blunt switch to "f-cking nervy". Going from light, artsy language to a sudden crisp swear word is something I really enjoy :)
Criticism, suggestions welcome. As always.
Oh ha, as usual, I like it!!!
Thanks, Eilis. But you're invited to be politely savage if need be. :-)
Ooo polite savagery, what a delightful contrast!
Hehe.
I love dialogue, and especially I love letting in spin out in long form -- sometimes. So to be more specific, I really enjoy the long paragraph in which he speaks and the way you just let it kind of linger there. In all its awkward lying glory.