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100% Totally Authentic Not Faux Love Line!

You all know Loveline with Dr. Zork!
Now it's time for Fictional Character Loveline with Eilis!
A post where you have your favorite fictional characters ask for love advice about their romantic lives :)
This post is meant to be 100% silly!



Ellen Ripley here. Thank you for this service Eilis, you have always been a friend to the fictional community.
One of my boyfriends is getting jealous or something. Just because I want them to meet.
It's not like they have to "love" each other. (Granted, that would be an acceptable outcome, in moderation.) But if they say they'll fight over me, why not demonstrate it playfully on the battlefield of my choosing?
Any advice? He's really a good guy but you know how frustrating this is.
Ellen, I adore you!
You deserve to have a couple lovers duke it out playfully on the battlefield of your choosing!
GO GET EM GIRL!
And if they refuse, well... I've got a bottle of scotch and a private spaceship...
Come on and join me?
Kisses from a fan!
It's impressive how neatly you solved my problem. And piqued my curiosity. Visiting your private spaceship would be my pleasures.
Ellen
Eeeeeeee
Come on board!
"Why doesn't Harry love me?!?!" - Love, Hermione
Oh he does my dear
@Zork I solemnly swears I am no thief ... hehehe