Moonbeam Cafe: for the night owls. We are not afraid of the dark. Pour a drink and stay a while.
Moonbeam Café LOVELINE (with Dr. Zork, Nurse Eilis & The Lizard Queen!) August 3, 2016

DISCLAIMER: We are NOT licensed professionals and are not necessarily more qualified than anyone else to offer relationship advice!
That said, Happy Humpday and WELCOME TO THE MOONBEAM CAFE LOVELINE!!!
Post your relationship questions here!
Post anonymously and/or with name!
I'll be on and off today and it may take a while for me to respond to every query but I shall endeavor to respond to them all with varying levels of efficacy!
In addition, I hereby invite @Eilis and @TheLizardQueen to muck in the muckiness and offer advice, as well! It'll probably be better than mine, quite frankly.
We now open the floor for questions...



My girlfriend and I enjoy "group activity". I recently meet a woman who has a very similar personality to us and I think would be receptive to enjoying an encounter with us, but I am not a great judge of these type of things. With all the political correctness and hearing the word "harassment" every minute and a half, is there a proper way to approach her with an invitation?
Assuming by "group activity" you're NOT talking about "bowling"...
Some links...
Picking Up Girls for Threesomes with Your Girlfriend
A Girl's Guide to Threesomes
How to Find a Woman to Join your Threesome
Excellent resources! On a completely unrelated note, what program do you use to create your header images?
I use Photoshop and After Effects -- which are also great apps to get a woman to join your threesome!
Blast! I was "born and raised" on Corel PhotoPaint. Story of my life. Beta VCR, Sega Master System, HD DVD, and Corel PhotoPaint.
Okay but how do I find a woman for a bowling group of three???
Sorry but...what a gross way to start out your question. :/
Ummm...okay.
Wait what?? How did that connect?
Not a clue.
I do not see this phrase anywhere...
Never mind I see
Yes. I said that. I don't get the "gross" part though.
Valid concern in my opinion. He doesn't want to come across as a creep. Depending on the social context by which he knows this woman this may be a justifiable fear of his.
Asking somebody for a threesome will likely carry a risk of being judged or seen as awkward regardless of the climate of political correctness or lack thereof. People have always been a bit uncomfortable about sexual exploration. At least where I'm from. So I'm not sure it makes a huge difference to be worried about being politically correct as long as you treat everybody respectfully!
You're right, I should not have used a colloquial term.
By gross, I meant its toxic and sexist to belittle the need to be aware of how we speak (ie political correctness). And putting harassment in quotations as if people who claim harassment are overreacting or making it up, is just a huge red flag to me that you're not a safe person to speak with or be around.
There are 2 types of harassment: the genuine kind and the bullshit kind.
Genuine: "Hey, baby. I love your ass in those jeans!" Bullshit: "You look pretty today."
In this sue-happy country (by which I mean the U.S.) either of these at the very least have the potential to land you in court and/or get you fired. While I have no intention of walking up to this woman and saying "You wanna get naked with me and my old lady?", I certainly want to approach her in a way that doesn't leave me open to prosecution.
And if you don't feel I'm safe to speak with, feel free to click my profile page and hit "Block". I won't lose any sleep.
As this discussion continues, let's agree to keep it civil folks! Looks to be a hot topic
As this discussion continues, let's agree to keep it civil folks! Looks to be a hot topic
Respect is key. But the last thing I want to do is make her uncomfortable. I wish it was as simple as asking "Would you like a french fry". Unfortunately it is a little more complicated.
I think you can just be like "my wife and I love having others join us on romantic dates" and gauge the reaction before talking about sex stuff at all! No prosecution in the wind there..
Ooh! Excellent suggestion. I just need to wait until conversation gets a little bawdy.
Honestly you could always talk about three somes or sex in a general way and gauge her emotional reaction first. If she is happy to talk about these things, she might be into them herself.
Absolutely!
I do understand that some people feel frustrated by the increased desire to be PC - perhaps PC is too loaded a term. I feel like people always need to be "respectful" - and it seems like we are today trying to work toward respect for all.
I understand that red flags get hackles up. I too have certain red flags that may often make me question people!
I wish to just say I too have red flags, and stand 100% with you (AnonymousRepairCampLorie). I have supported too many people who've been dismissed & ridiculed after being harassed, and can't ethically pass by this discussion silently.
Thank you so very much, this really meant a lot to me.
Glad to hear! <3 Had a random Thought on the Train: please always feel free to ping me (mentioning "@Sleepymachine" should email me, I believe) if you'd like others to share the emotional labor of dealing with such people.
("The amount of energy to refute BS is an order of magnitude bigger than to produce it." Partly because of the enablers...)
One of the few times I hate talking over the internet because I don't feel like you can convey appreciation and sincerity properly. Thank you so much for supporting me and putting yourself out there to be called upon. It really means a lot.
Hello mighty ones in the way of love and sticky bodily fluids. How does one go about spicing things up in the bedroom, or any other room. Hey even the garden, street, or shopping centre for that matter? The purchase of scotch-bonnet chillies, cumin, fresh ginger, and cinnamon have been purchased in preparation.
Now I should be honest here and say I am writing this for a friend. I myself have a very happy love life but I refuse to offer him more help as the last time I did he called me a raving pervert and laughed at my genitals.
MIGHTY STICKY LOVE GURU is here to respond!
I don't think one has to purchase any crazy romantic accessories to spice things up!
In fact, the biggest sex organ for many people is the brain!
Work on doing new and / or exciting activities together.
Doing new things together as a couple - even if they aren't sexual - brings a new interest to your relationship! It allows your partner to see you in a new light - and this extra bit of mystery will spice things up in and outside of the bedroom!
I've read "Mating in Captivity" - from which I get this advice. It's a golden book!
Oops, sorry. And I was only talking about being a misfit just minutes ago. Seems like I have done it here by just being myself in what would appear a serious section. I shall retreat away quietly.
I'm very confused. I was trying to respond with what I felt was seriousness and cheerfulness. What about this interaction says misfit?
No, I am the misfit. Coming in here with something silly like a twat. Only for you to take time to respond with a serious answer.
The misfit comes from another topic posted elsewhere in here that had various people discussing how they are a misfit. Here is my evidence by misjudging what this is about. So once again I am sorry.
No worries @Wwarped these topics tend to be a combination of silly and serious most days. <3
Awww sorry!!! We love silly stuff too! I just assumed you were looking for an answer. <3
Like I got the silliness, but figured you still wished for a serious answer. No worries!
Yay!!!! Nurse Eilis loves love line!
Lol it's humpday; very good
What is this odd thing you people call "a girl-friend?"
A mythical, elusive creature not unlike the unicorn!