Arospec Awareness Week #2

From Here

Monday, February 20, 2017: Write about some of the complications you’ve come across as identifiying or existing on the aromantic spectrum. You can include ways you’ve worked out problems that occur, or things you might still be struggling- it’s all up to you. Feel free to give advice to other people participating if you have any, as long as it’s okay with that tumblr user!

Most of my problems seem to be around other people. You know the old “You’ll find yourself a boyfriend eventually.” “You’re gonna fall madly in love and run away and get married without telling anyone.”

When I first started identifying as aro, the biggest thing was just allowing myself to wear the label. I was maybe a month out of the only romantic relationship I’d ever been in (I was 27 at the time, and the relationship lasted 6 months from first meeting to breakup) and convincing myself I was allowed to be aromantic. That it wasn’t because I was bitter and heartbroken.

I was heartbroken, but more for the loss of the friendship than the romantic part. I always felt like the relationship was performative and fake.

It took a few months to feel comfortable with the aromantic label. I had talked to my chat group and said I was maybe aro-spec. I think I’d still be struggling with the aro label had I not seen a Facebook post in my timehop where I’d been ranting about “society forcing and expecting romantic relationships by way of dating website ads” in my timehop from several years earlier.

Honestly, finding the aromantic label ended a whole bunch of identity confusion I’d had for years.