The medication update! It's a yay!

I wasn't going to post an update but, the effects have just been mind blowing. I've lived for decades with a sort of just constant whirlwind carousel of thoughts and ideas, unable to really be present. I feel like taffy being tugged at by a dozen pairs of hands. Living life with its routines and planning is insanely difficult.

But today, I took medicine for the first time for ADHD (adderoll). It was like it put earmuffs on the chatter. There was a soundproof wall between the whirling brain and the present thought. I was able to say "no" and file a thought away! This is world changing. I've never been able to clear my head. EVER.

Moreover, I felt clearer. I held my head higher. I looked people in the eye. I could actually pay attention to where I was going while walking.

I remembered things.

I'm never able to remember anything. Today, I remembered numbers, song names, and the order of things done during the day. Conversations, needs, intentions. It also didn't feel like the day was just one massive block of time. I was able to pay attention to time in a meaningful way. In blocks.

I.... I am completely and utterly astounded.

And a little sad I didn't get help years earlier.

But mostly just relieved. There is hope for my everyday life!