Got questions? We've got answers. Assuming they're about us.

Our FAQ, which we'll be updating over time. If there's a question that we didn't answer, feel free to post a reply to this thread asking about it!

CW: abuse, self-harm.

General Personal Stuff

Q. What do you do for a living?
A. Stuff that we dislike. Beyond that, we won't specify for identification reasons. Don't worry, it's legal, just menial as hell. We're spending a significant amount of our time studying art on our own in order to change careers.

Q. What are your interests?
A. They vary depending on which of us you talk to, but generally speaking: art, neurodiversity, mental health, advocacy, gaming, writing, and computer science.

Q. What are your other names on Imzy?
A. @CloudedOtter: for most art and fandom. @Leonids: for neurodiversity-specific communities. A few others that we don't care to list.

Q. Where does your username come from?
A. It's a reference to the second game in the Zero Escape series, Virtue's Last Reward.

Q. Is An. actually a demonic peacock?
A. Sadly, he isn't.

Multiplicity / Plurality / System Stuff

Q. What is multiplicity, plurality, a system, switching, fronting, etc?
A. Multiplicity / plurality is the presence of multiple conscious entities with their own subjective ways of being, all coinhabiting one body. Plurality tends to refer to the general experience, while multiplicity tends to refer to more specific subsets of plurality.

A system is the collective of said conscious entities living in a single body.

Switching refers to changing who's in control of the body. Fronting refers to being "up here" in the physical world instead of being asleep or in an inner space, whether you're controlling the body or not.

Q. How long have you been multiple?
A. Since early childhood, prior to the age of ten. We have memories of talking to each other even back then. We have other memories involving switching and dissociation, but they are hard to place on the timeline.

Q. Do you have Multiple Personality Disorder (MPD) / Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID)?
A. Sort of? We've seen two psychologists now, both of which tell us that they suspect we have the disorder. We're in the process of having it formalized. As of 11/8/16's results, we've decided that it's too risky to have a "scary" diagnosis in the current political climate. :/ Going to take our chances without it.

We do fit the profile in many ways. We have amnesia both for past traumatic events and portions of daily life when highly stressed, although it does not appear to be directly tied to switching. A significant portion of our system was formed as a product of childhood trauma, with people who exist in order to hold trauma, protect our system, and so forth. We suffer from high baseline dissociation, PTSD, and various co-morbid disorders.

The term also accurately describes the ways in which we collapse under high stress. New members are fragmented off, memories are lost, spontaneous and uncontrolled switches occur, and concerted efforts must be made to keep everyone on the same page, instead of panicking and acting on their own. We must carefully ration our mental and physical energies alike in order to avoid such states, and structure our lives accordingly; this is part of why we identify as disabled.

However, simply being multiple is not a major source of distress for us, even though some of us clash with each other, and some of us have tried to harm each other or our shared body in the past. We are not out of the woods yet, but we have been making amends and have learned to cooperate, even when we disagree. Overall, we would say that being multiple is a positive experience for us, and one that has improved our chances of survival, especially in recent years. We do not consider our multiplicity a disorder and disagree with much of the clinical language surrounding it. As one of our members, Sn., once said, "I believe that the term 'Dissociative Identity Disorder' does us a disservice. 'Dissociative Identity Defense' or 'Dissociative Identity Difference' would be far better terms." Overall, though we use the term for the sake of communication with non-multiples, and recognize that there are systems for whom being multiple is a disorder, we have been considering dropping the term from our personal primary identifiers.

Q. Are you dangerous?
A. Nope. Hollywood lied. I know, how shocking.

More seriously, our system's dangerousness has historically been towards ourselves and others in our system. Towards those outside the body, the furthest it's gone has been verbal hostility - which we still aren't proud of, mind. We do not consider multiplicity an excuse for bad behavior, and ever since coming to a fuller understanding of ourselves, have all sworn to a pact of mutual responsibility.

Q. So, which of you is the real NinethLions?
A. All of us.

Q. But which of you is real??
A. All of us.

Q. But aren't you all just alternate personalities of one person?
A. Sigh. Rant time...

A lot of the clinical terminology implies that we individual system members aren't truly real. That we're not actual people, just shards of one. Or worse, that we're just the delusion of a lonely, tormented mind. That we individual system members don't actually have feelings, thoughts, and dreams of our own, we just appear to.

This is a gross misconception seeded by outsiders looking in - outsiders who have no firsthand experience of multiplicity, who ignore our voices in favor of squeezing us into a predetermined worldview that holds that there can only ever be one conscious entity per brain. A worldview, by the way, that is completely unsubstantiated given that consciousness is not understood and that there exists no way to measure it. While yes, there exist systems who fit more closely into those models - and it is important to recognize that their experiences are just as valid as ours or anyone else's - there also exist systems who do not.

For us, even if we share one body, each of us has our own mind, our own thoughts, our own feelings. Our individual thoughts and feelings run the full gamut of complexity, like any physical individual's. Each of us can daydream, laugh, cry, create, mourn, and celebrate, and much much more. We exist, and have our own individual experiences of existing.

Though we share one body, each of us are people as much as you are. If we are parts, then we are not parts of each other, but parts alongside each other. We are not parts of a person, but people who are each part of an internal community.

Q. I still disagree with you.
A. You're welcome to, and we hope we can still interact civilly with you, regardless. Just keep in mind that our personhoods aren't really a topic that's up for debate in this community. We will remove anyone who tries.

If you're wondering why, or crying censorship, imagine going onto a transgender person's blog and telling them that they aren't actually their gender, that they've just deluded themself into thinking they are. You are welcome to express your opinion, and there are places for it. The personal blog of a trans person is not one of them, and it is well within their rights to remove anyone who will not respect their boundaries. Also, I'd recommend re-acquainting yourself with what censorship and the First Amendment actually mean.

And be cautious of trying to dictate others' personal realities for them. Most people won't react well to it, and for good reason.

Q. Do you lose time?
A. Not in the typical sense. Our memory loss doesn't seem to be tied to switching so much as it's tied to trauma and stress. This is a bit complicated to explain and we will probably make a standalone post dedicated to this topic later.

Q. How do you feel about endogenic systems / tulpamancy systems / soulbonding systems / etc?
A. They are as valid and real as we or any other traumagenic system. The experiences are not the same, but they are still real and worthy of baseline human respect. We disagree strongly with those who believe they are fake and do not tolerate harassment towards them any more than we would tolerate harassment towards a traumagenic system.

There was a period of time in which we first thought ourselves a tulpamancy system, then an endogenic system. Our experiences in those communities equipped us to stabilize our system and develop methods for resolving conflicts and coordinating ourselves. Those communities helped us develop a framework that proved invaluable when we did unearth our abuse history and our life began to fall to pieces.

In addition, we are close friends with a significant number of non-traumagenic systems. Several of those systems gave us assistance when we were fleeing our abusers. Others counseled us or gave us shoulders to cry on when we were feeling most alone. We have met tulpamancy and endogenic systems in person, and they have been nothing short of wonderful to us. Without our friends, we would not be alive.

Finally, to dismiss the reality of endogenic et al. systems would be to dismiss our own realities. A significant number of us qualify as endogenic, as there is no trauma associated with their appearance and they function differently than those of us who are traumagenic. All of us are loved and respected in this system, no matter their origins.

Q. What is your system name / how should I refer to you all?
A. Our system name is Quandary Lions. In situations that don't call for our individual names, you're welcome to call us that, Quandary, Lions, or whatever username we're using at the time. If you can't remember our individual names, you're welcome to use Lions/NinethLions/etc as well.

We also use they/them pronouns collectively.

Q. Are you fictives? Are the names you chose the names of your source characters?
A. The names we use here are psuedonyms derived from the names of characters we identify strongly with or otherwise felt like choosing for whatever reason. Some of us are fictives, but their pseudonyms don't necessarily align with their source characters.

Q. Who are your names from?
A. To list only our frequent fronters:

  • J. - Joshua, from The World Ends With You.
  • An. - Andrealphus the Painter, from Floraverse.
  • Au. - Amdusias, from Floraverse. Formerly Sg. - Sigma, from Zero Escape.

Artsy Stuff

Q. Is the art you post here your art?
A. If it's under the art tag, yes! Only our very personal art goes here - the rest is over at /cloudedotter.

Q. Why do you post some art here and not on /cloudedotter? (and vice versa)
A. Most of the art we post here tends to be personally special in ways we can't really define. They usually involve art of ourselves, art created to cope, art that represents some very raw parts of ourselves... stuff that we wouldn't be comfortable putting up on most public spaces, but that's right at home alongside the trauma talk and abuse vents and etc. That's not to say that the art on /cloudedotter isn't important or personal, it's just a few more steps removed and something we're more okay with putting up in more public galleries.

There's a few exceptions that may get crossposted or posted erratically for whatever reason. E.g. the Stardew Valley fanfic is really really personal and was partly made as a way of processing some of our baggage bullshit, but is posted over on /cloudedotter because it's predominantly a fanwork and some other reasons. But generally, that'll be the trend.

Q. I have more questions about your art that weren't answered here!
A. We've got a FAQ over at /cloudedotter that's very artsy in focus. Feel free to drop by and see if your question was answered there!

Fandom Stuff

Q. What are your fandoms?
A. In no particular order: Floraverse, Zero Escape, (999, VLR, ZTD), Undertale, Stardew Valley, some furry stuff, Guild Wars 2, Cucumber Quest, Pokemon, Transistor, Kingdom Hearts, The World Ends With You, some Final Fantasy games, some Tales of games, a bunch of others we can't recall right now...

Q. Do you fanart?!
A. We do!! We're currently working on an index over at /cloudedotter for all of your fandom pleasures.

Q. What are your OTPs?
A. We... don't have any, actually. We have nothing against shipping and do some shippy stuff, but we don't really feel strongly enough about any ships to declare them our OTPs.

A lot of our shipping is more... exploratory and experimental more than anything else? "These characters are interesting. I wonder how things would work out if they were together?" rather than, "These characters are perfect for each other! They belong together and it's inconceivable to see them with anyone else!"

Sometimes the ships we explore wind up with abusive or otherwise unhealthy dynamics. We love these ships when they are done well, i.e., the issues are not glossed over or excused for the sake of keeping ships together, and instead are explored with everyone in the relationship working together for a healthier balance. For some of our writers, their dream is to be able to write ships in this manner.

Q. Okay, so you don't have any OTPs, but what do you ship?
A. It really depends on which of us you ask? But generally speaking, our most consistent ships tend to fall in line with canon - e.g. Amdusias x Orobas, Junpei x Akane.

I think the most un-canon ship we have is J.'s OC farmer, Alan, and Sebastian from Stardew Valley. Or a Sora/Riku/Kairi OT3.

Some of us also ship feralphoenix's interpretation of (Undertale spoilers)

Chara x Asriel.

Q. What about them broTPs?
A. Also mostly falls in line with canon, and are too numerous to list. Sam, Sebastian, and Abigail (Stardew Valley) and Elliott and Leah (also Stardew Valley, sometimes interpreted as a ship instead) are probably the ones we're paying most attention to right now.