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So What's Up With The Word 'Queer?'
So What's Up With The Word 'Queer?'
After seeing the word "Queer" in a few MTV headlines, someone asked me, "But isn't 'queer' an offensive word?" For people of older generations, or living in certain parts of the country, their primary exposure to the Q-word is its use as a derogatory slur.
I'm on board with reclaiming the word, but I wish more activists understood some of us have a traumatic history with the word. You might have trouble understanding my reticence to use it if you don't have a memory of verbal or physical abuse associated with it.
And I'm one of the lucky ones: I only got verbal abuse with it, and it mostly stopped once I was done with school. Eventually, the pain it forces us to recollect may become distant enough for us to start using it. Right now, I can't even type it out without feeling the scorn.




I can understand not wanting to use it; it's a traumatic word for people in certain regions or age brackets, but it's also the only identity I can confidently state with any certainty. And I've had it about as far as I can stand, with people telling me that I'm not allowed to use it, not ever, not even just to describe myself or people who- like me- rely on it for an opaque and comprehensive political and sexual/gender label.
Self-identification is fine, and even the use in academic circles is okay (though it can be alienating to people who have a bad history with the word). I just don't like the hostile reaction I sometimes get when I ask people to not use the word on me.
I first started using it in the context of 'genderqueer' when I started figuring out my gender identity (or, more accurately, my lack thereof). In general, I like Queer as a catch-all term for the LGBT community, but I recognize that it makes a lot of people uncomfortable, and would never use it for someone who asked me not to.
I am curious how much of it is generational. My impression has been that it's mostly older folk who object to it, and younger folk who embrace it. I'm sure there are exceptions in both directions, but I wonder what the percentages look like.
I too identify too strongly with it to just.. not use it. I don't have a very clear cut identity so queer is a nice catch-all especially for when I lack the energy or will to explain.
I can totally understand why individuals wouldn't necessarily want to use it, but there's way too much history behind the word to erase it entirely. This post words it better than I ever could - http://kezbat.tumblr.com/post/149556874732/x-cetra-vaspider-wetwareproblem
I think people have the right to not be described as queer - just like someone may not like to have words such as gay, lesbian, or transexual applied to them - because not only there are many ways to describe LGBTQIAP+ identities and people have preferences, but because some of these may be rejected because of the negativity associated with certain words.
However, I see way less instances of people being called queer without consent - usually by people who are still uneducated about LGBTQIAP+ issues - than I see instances of people saying queer should be always be censored, of people saying you shouldn't need to identify as a slur because there are "better words", of people saying the Q should be dropped from the acronym because "it's a slur", or of people saying "queer community" is offensive, even if these people are being clear about only referring to queer community as in the community of people who reclaim queer. Therefore, I'm not surprised that queer-identified people sometimes are a bit too aggressive about the word queer being good and valid, to the point it may offend people who don't want to be called queer at all.
I actually think it's a shame we can't use queer as an umbrella term, since it's a better descriptor than LGBTQIAP+ or MOGAI, imho; but I understand it may not be as inclusive as something that isn't offensive to a large part of the non-pericishet community.