Come discuss sexuality in a sex-positive, body-positive, consent-driven, LGBTQ+-friendly environment.
Question about safe oral sex
So, my girlfriend and I (male) want to have oral sex, but I'm not sure of what safety precautions need to be taken. I know for the upmost safety we should use dental dams and condoms. But a question I had was, if we both get tested and are clean, what risks are involved with unprotected oral sex?




Maybe someone else knows better than me, but this is my understanding. If I'm wrong let me know because I like having safe sex to and my info might need updating!
If you both got tested and are clean, and neither of you have had sex with anyone else since your test, and you've been retested for things that can take a few weeks to show up after you have sex with someone infected, there's no risk for STIs.
There could be a risk of pregnancy if you want to use your fingers at the same time and you've orgasmed recently, perhaps?
This is all an entirely different thing from comfort levels, though. Once someone corroborates or corrects me, I recommend talking to your girlfriend about those risks. For me, if anyone is a smidge uncertain about anything, we go with the safer options, no arguments. If everyone involved can say "I 100% trust you with my sexual health, no doubts" then I feel I can forego the condoms and dental dams. But this is such a personal thing! Whatever level of safety the most cautious person prefers is the best way to go, for everyone.
Yep! I haven't brought up the possibility of not using protection to her yet, I just wanted to go into that convo with some information. Thank you for your input. I'm going to wait for more responses and do some research on my own to get the full picture.
Sounds like you're doing it right. :) I hope it goes well, whatever you decide to do!
HPV is normally not one of the things they test for, nor is HSV.
HPV comes in many different types: oral cancer causing, cervical cancer causing, genital wart causing, and more. CDC says the human body typically clears the infection within 2 years, but if it can't, cancer can develop.
HSV causes cold sores (type 1) and genital herpes (type 2). You can become infected even when there are NO symptoms. Genital herpes can present in atypical ways, with no outright lesions. You MUST specifically request a blood antibody test for both strains. It can take up to six months AFTER infection for the antibodies to show up. You CAN become infected and never have a break out. There is no cure, and unlike HPV, the body is unable to fight the dormant infection. Either type of HSV can infect either body region (type 1 can be contracted genitally and vice versa).
Neither dental dams, nor condoms, can protect against either HPV or HSV 100% since they are contact transmissions instead of fluid transmissions.
Get tested, talk openly, remain monogamous.
Apologies for any typos. It's late and I've had a rough day.
I do not believe asymptomatic HPV is tested for normally. If you are younger than the cut off for the vaccine, I'd get that. HPV is tied to oral cancers. That's one concern, albeit most people ignore it. They also ignore asymptomatic herpes simplex.
Ohhh, is that the cervix one? I ended up with "abnormal cells" on my cervix because of that one with no symptoms at all, and getting them removed was no fun. The abnormal cells weren't even doing anything wrong, but there is a small risk that it can develop into something worse much later in life, so they had to be removed.
It can also affect boys, if this guardian article (about HPV vaccine access for boys) is anything to go by https://www.theguardian.com/science/2016/jul/09/vaccine-boys-cancer-men-hpv
I've gotten the HPV vaccine, I don't know about her, though. I'll have to ask.
Found out from my doctor recently that the HPV vaccine is now being recommended for women up to age 45. Just in case anyone is interested in it, chat with your physician.
Oral sex is fairly low risk, but the one thing you'll want to keep in mind is that people lie about their sexual activity. Even a lot of "monogamous" marriages are not.
Trust and communication are of utmost importance in our relationship, so that won't be a problem.