Ruthlessly reviewing the fall TV pilot season.
Bull (aired Tuesday 20 Sept)
Bull, Trailer
youtube.com
Stars: Michael Weatherly, Freddy Rodriguez, Geneva Carr, Chris Jackson, Jaime Lee Kirchner and Annabelle Attanasio Producers: Paul Attanasio, Dr. Phil McGraw, Jay McGraw, Steven Spielberg, Justin Falvey and Darryl Frank Premise: NCIS alum Michael Weatherly stars as Dr. Phil on the series, which will follow McGraw's early career as a trial consultant. McGraw will produce with his son Jay.




I went into this expecting something similar to CBS' usual fare of bland procedurals - which I admit I've seen a lot of, before I got so sick of procedurals that I actually turn green now if I watch one - something inoffensive, generic but with just enough spice to reel people in when they're too tired to watch anything else. I should have been expecting a The Mentalist/Lie To Me mashup that feels about 10 years too late and that sets out to patronize and manipulate every section of it's audience while trying to pass it off as the characters on screen being duped.
To me it just can't feel any other way than manipulation when they take a punkass rich white kid - the kind we've just seen walk free from rape in the media because "prison would ruin their life" - and put them on trial for the murder of an Asian girl and then proceed to work their hardest to make him sympathetic (giving him a haircut and makeover wasn't just for the jury's benefit!), and not only that but to create a "gotcha!" twist where he turns out to be gay and innocent and "don't you feel stupid now for thinking he was Satan incarnate, you feminist mafia nazis??". It's incredibly tonedeaf and clumsy and just about as much tact as a Donald Trump speech - they may as well have put a white cop on trial for shooting a black man, but A) I guess they had to save something for episode 2 and B) we all know that kinda case would never go to trial anyway.
And then there's "Dr Phil", which manages to come off as the less ridiculous name next to this character "Dr Bull". Really? Bull? Really? That is the dumbest shit I've heard since I last checked a trending twitter tag. And if he's based on Dr Phil it's a lot less so than I expected - there's no Southern accent, it's set in present day despite being based on Dr Phil's career some 30 years ago, and Michael Weatherly looks like Dr Phil about as much as I look like Kristen Bell (we both have faces and we're both white, that's about it).
He's supported by a carbon-copy of Abby from NCIS and some other side characters that I don't even remember now, and with graphics and stylistic elements that were totally cool 10 years ago but now feel about as fresh as the room of stale white farts that I'm sure make up the writers room for this show. And honestly someone needs to be fired for the dialogue, just like, straight-up fired from a canon into space.
I do not say this lightly, but I actually wouldn't even have expected something this bad from Goffman. I wouldn't use this show as toilet paper if I was all out, it was that bad.
This. This is good. I wish I could wrap this up and deliver it to Goffman's door.
i'm 8 minutes in and i'm already in pain.
I really feel like this show was an effort in making as many people as uncomfortable as possible in 40 mins. Goffman really out did himself. I'm curious to see how this goes because on one hand the critics hate it, rotten tomatoes hates it, on the other.... It's sandwiched between NCIS and NCIS: LA and has Michael Weatherly playing a slightly more whispery version of his character on NCIS. So maybe all that just won't matter.
~nah~