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How many of you have health problems "because of your lack of faith"?
I come from a super conservative family, and I've since left the religion I was raised in. I left that religion a couple years ago, and I've since developed some health problems that make it really difficult for me to do normal stuff (one of the primary symptoms being really extreme fatigue—like sleep 16 hours a day and lie on the couch watching TV when not sleeping because that's all I have the mental/physical energy for). Recently I was visiting my family and they suggested that God was giving me this trial to draw me back closer to him since I had strayed away from the true path.
Barf. Thanks. I'm sure just praying will fix this thing that's been plaguing me for months on end and that the doctors haven't been able to figure out yet after tons of testing.
And what's funny—I did even try praying a few times earlier on in these health issues, even though I don't believe in it anymore, just because it is kind of a conditioned in me that that's what you do when things are hard and you need help, and I needed somewhere to turn. No dice.
Sorry, Mom and Dad.
Anyone else have family who've said rude things about your illness as related to religion/faith/God etc?




Story of my life.
At this point I either smile and nod or thank them for their positive thoughts (prayers) and try to let the subject drop gracefully. I think the religious folks in my family have hit the "old enough to know what fights are worth fighting" phase in their relationship with me.
It is insulting though isn't it? Sorry you have to put up with this too.
Lucky! (That some of your family has realized it's not worth fighting for, I mean.) Is your immediate family religious, or is it mostly more of the extended family/grandparents/etc?
My parents left the church. Ma is still slightly religious. Da is more like me.
My family is super small though so even the extended family is close ya know?
I think a lot of it is because I told them in no uncertain terms that they are free to believe and worship however they like but that they have no right to push it on those of us in the family who don't follow the same path. That was a repeated conversation since I was about 19 years old (so like 10+ years now)
Good on you for learning to do that. I spent too much time getting pissed and responding poorly, either silently, which meant I just held a grudge against people and it affected the way we interacted later, or vocally in a negative way that tended to be pretty disrespectful of their beliefs, which probably wasn't appropriate either since two wrongs don't make a right, and also affected our relationship negatively at times.
I've gotten better at it since, and I think basically everyone who's going to say it has by now, so it's mostly water under the bridge at this point anyways (is that the right way to use that phrase?).
I think that's a pretty natural course of events for this sort of thing to be honest. And yes water under the bridge sounds appropriate. <3
OMG YES. I've heard:
As well as just general "well, this wouldn't have happened to you if you hadn't chosen a life of sin" (not literally those words that extreme, but, you know, close enough).
Ew. I get "serve others more" all the time when it comes to my depression (which isn't exactly a chronic illness but definitely makes them worse), and... No. That's not how depression works. Literally the last thing I need when I'm depressed is to feel guilt because I can't muster up the energy to go be Mother Theresa.
Totally! And yes, I think depression fits right in here. It's still an invisible illness that also is chronic in a different sense and it tends to go hand in hand with so many chronic illnesses. I know it's something I struggle with really heavily when my health dips really low and I can't do anything.
I'm LDS (Mormon), and I still see a lot of this same attitude when it comes to depression. Depression is often seen as a symptom of either sin, or a lack of faith. The thinking is that if you were really righteous and had enough faith, you wouldn't be "sad." This is dangerous for two reasons: it means that people experiencing depression aren't getting support from their community, AND it prevents people from getting help on their own, because sometimes THEY believe their depression must be from spiritual "weakness." There is a shift happening within the church, and leaders are speaking out about the realities of mental illness, but there's still a lot of work that needs to be done within the culture.
I was raised Mormon as well (though I'm not anymore), and this was absolutely something I saw both in casual conversations as well as literally preached over the pulpit, as well as all the other things mentioned in this thread. It's so terrible because that kind of thinking can only make your depression worse when that doesn't work, because now you feel even more like a failure and discouraged and hopeless in even more ways. I get that those things can help with some sad feelings, but depression is also a very real thing that sometimes needs way stronger treatment than any of those things can provide.
Totally agree. I try hard to speak up if I have an opportunity--if someone says something during a Relief Society lesson or Sunday school lesson, I try to raise my hand and talk about how depression is an illness, and like any other illness, we should treat it both with prayer/faith AND with modern medicine.
Awesome! Good for you. I think most people who haven't experienced it just don't quite understand it, and then so many people who do experience it don't feel like they can speak out because of the stigma and especially when that's what they're being taught, but one person saying something can often cause a lot more people to chime in as well, or even if they don't verbally join in, to suddenly feel much more accepted and included.
I remember being at BYU and talking about my issues with eating disorders (I know, I've got it all, haha) as openly as I could for that same reason, and it amazed me that basically every single time I said something, some other girl in the room would say "I've dealt with that too," even if there were only a couple other people in the room!
YES! It's so true! I'm a big believer in disclosure, even if it's scary. So often, others are just WAITING to share their own experiences, and you find so much more support than you realized.
I feel really lucky right now--my ward is amazing. It's this lovely ragtag group of folks...a few LGBT members (including one couple), people dealing with schizophrenia, people who are differently abled, people with kids in prison, recovering alcoholics, people with tattoos and piercings, people who come to church in jeans, immigrants and survivors of trauma and war. While there are still some ignorance or closed-mindedness, for the most part, Church is a beautiful place of healing.
Wow, that sounds really great. I sadly never experienced a ward like that (mine tended to be more on the other extreme of orthodox conforming), but I had a friend who moved to San Francisco and would always talk over the moon about how amazing her ward was because of how diverse and accepting it was. It sounds like when you can get that right combination, you can really get to what the church is truly supposed to be about: loving and helping everyone to move forward on their life path in a positive way.
My family is also very religious, but my chronic health issues are hereditary and my mom and several siblings share them. They all realize that sometimes health is just health and has very little to do with how religious you're being at a given point in time.
And thank goodness, because a "You're sick because you're not being faithful!" would not go down well.
Well, that's both nice that you have so many people around you who get it, and sad that so many of you have to deal with that. :(
My husband is an atheist and he has been dealing with congestive heart failure for over a decade. People constantly make those kind of comments to him. I always want to say something, but he is sweeter than I am and just smiles. Drives me bananas.