Dear Impatient Driver,

Look, I know that you are probably very important and have places to be. I get that. However, laying on your horn the very millisecond that the light turns green isn't going to make anyone go anywhere any faster. I know, I know...your magnificient and awe-inspiring presense should be enough to make the peasants in front of you fly forward, giving you undeterred passage to your destination.

Sadly, biology and physics don't care about you.

In a perfect world, as soon as the light turns green, everyone would let go of the brakes and apply equal pressure to the gas pedal all at once, allowing everyone in the line to begin moving simultaneously. Unfortunately, there is a small delay between when our eyes see the light turn green, when our brain tells our body to do things, and when our muscles get the message and respond. (Magicians and street hustlers take advantage of this pretty often!)

Now, add into that the fact that science still hasn't figured out a way to allow two objects to occupy the same space at the same time (and, why is that? Get off your asses, scientists!) and you wind up with a chain event. The first person can't go any faster than the person in front of them, so they have to wait until they see that car move before they start applying the gas.

"But!" I hear you saying, "If everyone just applied the gas at the same time, it would work. Everyone would go at once!"

Well, yeah. But....see...there are these annoying little things called "variables." Not every person and every car operates the same. Even if everyone is paying undivided attention to the traffic light, that doesn't mean that everyone's biology is operating at the same pace. There's no guarantee that everyone is healthy, well-rested, and not on some sort of substance that could alter their reaction times. Then, you have the cars themselves. Their make, model, and condition mean that they are all going to have slightly different reaction times, as well.

So. There you have it. I know that it is a blow to your ego. But, you are just going to have to be patient. Until then, suck it up, buttercup.

Love, Me