Things you can do, big and small, to make the world better for trans and nonbinary people.
The Rules - a review and an opportunity to propose new ones and make changes to existing ones
1. Be inclusive. Think about how binary and nonbinary trans people will be supported by your action, and make changes if needed. If you're not sure, post asking how you can make your action more inclusive and supportive. Think carefully about how your choice of action will affect intersex people where applicable.
2. Be specific. If your action is only applicable to people in a particular country or region, tag it as such and add it in the title. Message the mods if you want a new country tag to be added. Title example: [Petition] Include nonbinary genders in benefits forms (UK only)
3. Don't dismiss, minimise or invalidate. I know you know this, but I've got to say it! All genders and gender expressions are valid, and people are the best authorities on their own genders. Trust each other, and stick up for each other.
4. Pronouns. Use people's pronouns correctly, and post your pronouns if you want people to get yours right. I recommend including all five forms as per anagnori's in-depth explanation if you want to be extra-clear, like this: they/them/their/theirs/themself (plural verbs, eg: "they are")
5. Use the "spoiler" option and make a note in the title if you feel the topic of your post might be upsetting. Examples of content that should probably be content-noted (CNed) and spoilered include suicide, self-harm, abuse, etc. Title example: [Complaints please] Write to your MP to object to treatment of trans prisoners as cis (CN: abuse of prisoners, transphobic violence, suicide)
6. Assume good intent, and treat each other with compassion.
So, these are our rules. What do you think? Have I missed anything, or should I change anything?



I'm curious about the protocol for criticising actions! For example, if I propose something and you think that it would be way more effective for my goal to do something else instead, would you comment on that or just create a new action? Or is it a faux pas to criticise others' actions? (Personally I think that doing things in a more effective way is really important.) I think that could be reflected in the rules.
I think I won't know for sure until it's happened at least once, and I think it's context-dependent.
If I thought an intent and action were good and also there were more ways it could be done, I'd probably add a comment like "this is cool, and I will be joining in but doing it in this slightly different way" or "have you considered ___?" And if someone did that with one of my posts I would probably edit my post to include the additional way.
If I thought an action might cause harm to a marginalised group in some way, I am not sure yet what I would do. If I felt like it would open up discussion and not, eg: start a huge argument, I would probably comment. If I felt your intentions were good I might message you privately as the admin to talk about it. And if I think you're trolling, I'll delete the post and tell you why. (For offences after that I'd probably consider banning.)
What's your preference? What's anyone else's preference?
Aside: this will be so much easier to handle once we have PMs. Right now there's no non-aggressive way to send someone a message, apart from tipping them.
I value criticism a lot, because I want my actions to be the most effective they can be. If someone asks me "why do you do this thing instead of that other thing?" I'll explain and discuss it with them. That takes time, sure, but I think it's important to make sure I do the best I can.
I'm not a fan of "I'm not here to educate you, you have Google". That said, I think a basic level of knowledge (what are trans people? Why are they bothered by being addressed with the wrong pronouns?) is reasonable to expect in this comm. So there's limits to what I would explain, but they're veeeery basic.
If an action has potential to do harm, I'd want the original post to reflect that. Sometimes the tradeoff is worth it to me, and sometimes it isn't (and that sort of thing is always subjective) but it needs to be acknowledged. If I think that the OP hasn't acknowledged that, I'd point it out. But also, I think that it's okay for the OP to say "I bite that bullet and I think it's worth it".
(I'm a bit nervous about saying this because people are going to disagree with me on this one. I come from tumblr, okay, it's scary to disagree! That's why I'd like it if this was a space where people could respectfully disagree without all the scariness that some parts of tumblr have.)
Also, maybe a rule like "discussion is encouraged, but please stay civil and constructive"? So we don't get into huge fights. And I'm definitely in favour of deleting troll posts!
Truth. It feels very weird to be able to only communicate publicly on Imzy unless one of you is a leader of a one-leader community!
I wonder if perhaps we will end up with an FAQ thread. "If you've got something you'd like to know about trans people, ask here - your question and the good answer(s) will be added to the top of the thread."
Yeah, I think if the post has potential to harm I would ask the original poster to edit their post to reflect that. That's a good idea. Thank you.
Yes, that's a good idea for a rule. I definitely don't want the stress of having to deal with people noisily disagreeing here, and it's kind of inevitable of course, but maybe I can minimise it! I'll add that as a rule or something to that effect. Thanks!
I like this idea! Maybe add this after we get the first 101 question.
Glad I could contribute!
I think I might actually start it now and link to it from the community description, so people can at least theoretically know where to go when they have those kinds of questions! And people willing to answer 101 questions can click the "follow" button and be ready to field questions.
That makes sense! (Also I am totally up for answering questions.)
Awesome! :) Thanks, and thank you for your input!
Edit: For people from the Future, here's the FAQ and 101 thread. :)
You're welcome!