Hey! I'm wolfpurplemoon, welcome to my personal blog!
Family Day Out!
I met up with my mum, dad and brother today at a place called Port Solent that is around halfway between where I live and where they live.
We managed to park fairly near each other as I spotted my dad's car as we were both driving around the car park and then we found a tearoom and had a coffee and a catch up.
We then had a bit of a wander around looking at all the fancy boats in the marina, we noticed one was for sale so looked it up out of interest and it was £69,000!!
Then it was time for our meal at Zizzis, we had a really awesome waiter who was a lot of fun, we all ordered the same starter and then later when my mum and I ordered the same dessert he thought that my dad and brother were going to get the same!
I brought half of my pizza home because I got defeated (still had a small dessert though!) so I have that to look foward to (it was a very tasty pizza!).
We had another wander around the marina while chatting about various things, I was trying to bring up a particular topic, the fact that my girlfriend is trans (the fact I now have a girlfriend being the main point!) and I finally did that just as we were about to say goodbye and head to our cars!
I didn't get hostility thankfully, just some confusion, and at least they know to not use the wrong pronouns and name now which is the main thing. It's difficult for me to talk about her when talking to people who knew her before she came out but don't know these have changed!
After that we had a big hug and then headed our seperate ways and I was home around 4pm.
I had to have a nap soon after I got home, and then I watched Rogue One for the first time (spoiler: I enjoyed it!).




What a lovely day! Yay for pizza and dessert! I need to watch Rogue One as well.
I'm so glad your talk went well. Really, really glad. Congratulations! 💗
Thanks, it was a conversation I wanted to have in person, and it was good to get both my parents together so I didn't have to do it more than once (they are long-divorced and now amicable but still it's hard to get them together!) but yeah it makes life easier if I can refer to my girlfriend as she is rather than using her deadname and misgendering her - also if I bring her along to a family event in future it won't be such a surprise :D
It's definitely better to talk to them both together. I have friends who have had to have similar conversations with parents where the circumstances made it necessary that they have separate talks and it ended badly, because one parent would get to the other first and say things not the way they should have been said.
I am so glad I am in a place where deadnameing and misgendering can be talked about!
I've somehow never seen the term deadnaming before, and I guess somehow I always formulated sentences regarding trans people's names before and after coming out in a way that never required that verb. Like I never realized I needed it. But I think it will become a useful part of my vocabulary now. It makes perfect sense.
Oh yeah my girlfriend had a bit of that with various family members kinda working things out themselves after seeing her wearing makeup etc and then getting told half truths by family members who did know but didn't want to out her - but they all know now and we just had a meal with a few of her family members who hadn't seen her since they found out and it all went well!
Funnily enough I was actually fairly knowledgeable about a lot of trans terms before my girlfriend realised she was trans due to Tumblr where I've made friends with a few trans people, so as she's started making connections in the trans community we've been learning about a lot of this together.
Oh btw, I haven't asked you what your pronouns are :) (feel free to PM if you prefer to chat privately!)
Yeah a lot of trans people say being referred to by their birth name can trigger dysphoria and it's just generally impolite if you know a trans person's old name to ever use it. Also asking someone what their name used to be is kinda shitty and sort of shows that you aren't fully accepting of their gender. Calling it a deadname signifies that it's not a name they wish to use any more.
The media is awful for deadnaming trans people, a lot of journalists just can't write an article about a trans person without mentioning their deadname - and I did hear of someone once going so far to try to "expose" a trans woman who worked in tech that she ended up committing suicide rather than deal with the outing. So deadnaming someone is very serious!
I'm so glad for her!
I prefer they/them, but I don't mind she/her.
Thanks so much for asking! I waffle between putting them in my profile/not putting them up.
Yeah it can be othering when trans and nonbinary people are the only ones putting their pronouns, which is why I always put mine, if I can, to try to normalise having them on social media profiles. Actually the discord server for let's grab coffee has pronoun roles people can choose to add to their profile, also people there are pretty good at using "they" if we don't know someone's pronouns, they're a good bunch!
That is a really good point re normalising. I'm so used to feeling othered myself, I don't really give a fuck anymore. But I don't want anyone else feeling that way!